9. Erase all negative emotions
A relationship which is founded on jealousy, anger or hatred can never grow to be a positive relationship for anyone involved. The foundations of all of your relationships should be love, compassion and kindness. Any other emotion which seeps in most likely doesn’t belong there.
Anger only stirs up arguing, and there usually exists a personal, deep-seated reason for your anger. When jealousy is always in your heart, it’s time to reconsider your own insecurities and understand where they’re originating from. When hatred is present, maybe it’s best for you to let go of your relationship temporarily and work on releasing your hatred for your own good.
10. See the simple things
Do we ever notice the little stuff anymore? Probably not, especially after we’ve been with someone for a long period of time. But there are certain character traits which drew you to your partner in the first place: the way they laugh, their intelligence, the way they open the door for you, their outlook on life, their business sense, or whatever else initially attracted you to them. Chances are, all of those characteristics are still alive and well in your partner.
It’s simply a matter of learning to pay attention to the details again.
11. Remind yourself why they’re worth fighting for
If you’re in a doubtful relationship, make a list.
On the left-hand side, write down all the reasons you love to have this person in your life. On the right-hand side, let out all the reasons why you think you can’t stand them anymore. When you’ve thought everything through, which side is more powerful? If the left side won, tear the list in half, splitting the two columns from each other. Throw away the right-hand side and carry the left-hand side with you. Every time you feel upset with the person, pull out the list and add one more reason why it’s worth fighting for this relationship to continue.
12. Show them support
A relationship can’t be one-sided. Your friend, partner or family member can’t do everything for you and you nothing for them. That’s not fair and the relationship will grow toxic over time. Similarly, you can’t be expected to do everything for someone else while they sit back and watch.
There has to be a balance of give and take.
But to know in your heart that you’ve always done the right thing for the other person, offer to show them unconditional support. Listen to them when they’re in need, offer them guidance, and if it’s not too much of a burden, do the favours they ask you of you.
Make an effort each day to banish fear and defensiveness from your relationships and always incorporate self-awareness, patience and tolerance into the way you interact with others.
Rely on the 12 steps to reshape the more turbulent relationships in your life. While the people in your life may not always be easy to manage, the way you behave towards them can make a world of a difference in your relationships in the long run.