I remember several years ago, sitting in my first adoption class, learning, discovering, being challenged and without my knowing, having my path severely altered
I also remember the group being asked to give our thoughts on birth moms. Quick as a cat I remember shuffling my position to one of complete ignorance and judgement. The exact words escape me but my position was based on judging a mom who could ‘give away’ her child, because I could never do that. Thankfully, the woman leading us was skillfully able to highlight the errors in my position in a way that simultaneously corrected my mindset and convinced me to be part of the solution.
Of course I couldn’t relate, of course I could never have given up my firstborn, but then again, I never had to!
I never stared into the dark only to have fear look back at me, I never viewed my wife’s pregnancy as anything other than a joy. I never had my dreams shattered over a period of nine months, I never was abandoned to live out the consequences of my decisions, or perhaps abandoned to live out the consequences of someone else’s choices and effects on my body. I never endured ridicule at the possibility of having to drop out of school, to explain to people why I didn’t use protection or couldn’t say ‘no’.
The truth is, I don’t know your pain
I don’t know what you went through and I have no idea how hard your choice must have been. All I know is that I have a son and a daughter who’s eyes testify to your strength and sacrifice, their smiles tell a story of hope, a hope that was made possible through your strength and hope for them.
At any moment you could have checked out, given up, chosen you. In secret you would have suffered, but you would have released yourself from what must have been a burden unimaginable to most. I am thankful for you!
Because of you, I have purpose, because of you my son has a smile that brightens any darkness imaginable
Because of you I have a daughter who inspires and challenges me to be everything she needs and deserves. Because of you, we have a voice as a family and because of you, others will be given a voice as well.
Because of your prison, freedom was given, because of your pain, healing will be felt and because of your sacrifice, generations will be blessed.
Your tears have been turned into our joy and we are eternally grateful. You chose the road less travelled, you picked a heavy burden and watched over my little ones when I was not able to.
Thank you for being my little girl’s hero, for saving her! Thank you for fighting for my little boy, teaching him what it means to be a warrior, before I could stand with him in battle.
Thank you to the birth moms. Thank you for your sacrifice, for not giving up on our children, for giving them a fighting chance. You are the first superhero they ever knew!