There are so many reasons not to adopt, according to some. So many reasons not to complicate your life. People tend to couch their misgivings mostly with misguided attempts at trying to ‘save’ you from the complication that is loving a child you didn’t birth. “But can you love a child that isn’t yours?” Well, as soon as they enter my heart, they are mine!

But, can you love? …

Another one gets asked, “But can you love a black child?” Skin is skin! That’s like asking some parents if they can love a freckled child.

“But can you love a child when you already have biological children? Won’t you be unable to?”

To them I’d say, “My children showed me how big my heart is. Big enough for all children.”

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I homeschool our children and will do so till they have completed high school. I don’t plan to ever need to use my degree in paid labour. Those who care to ask my future plans for once the children are in university or tech or college or in the working or mission field, know that I have never actually wanted to get paid. I just want to serve as a volunteer somewhere where a soft-hearted woman is needed. I have never been a career woman, I only worked because I needed money.

So cue the frustration and sigh when someone close asked if I didn’t think we’d made a mistake by adopting. Pretty big mistake to have supposedly made! The person’s area of concern, “Now you’re never going to be able to go into the work force and get a job. You shouldn’t have done it.”

Live your life. It’s YOURS after all

I’m so glad that as adults we don’t need others’ approval to do what makes us happy and content. The deed is done. We did adopt. We did make what one thinks is a mistake. I lost the chance to live my life the way someone out there thinks I should live it. In the same way there are so many reasons given to people not to adopt, you know why you want to do it. You have so many reasons to go ahead and do it. Armed with those reasons and a united front if you have a spouse, just do it. Live your life. It’s YOURS after all. And your future child’s.