Moving in together means you’re officially merging your lives. Not just your time and your things, but your finances, routines and bad habits too. Here are some common warning signs that you’re not ready to share a home
There comes a time in most long-term relationships when you start to seriously think about moving in together…
Why not? You love each other. You already spend all your free time together. Their hair products are already taking up space in your shower and their dirty laundry is piled on your bathroom floor. Why pay for two places when you’re basically already living together? Would it really be any different?
Yes, yes, it would.
Living together is a big commitment and a lot changes when you take that step.
You’re officially merging your lives. Not just your time and your things, but your finances, routines and bad habits too. It’s important to make sure you’re ready before you hire a moving van.
Here are some common warning signs that you’re NOT ready to share a home:
1. You’ve considered breaking up in the last six months
Your relationship may feel solid right now. You may firmly believe that you’ll be together forever. But if you’ve had any doubts in the not-too-distant past, you should think a little harder about sharing a living space with your partner.
Whether you considered leaving them because you developed feelings for someone else or you simply had an argument and overreacted, it should give you pause for thought. It doesn’t matter how big the issue was or how quickly you resolved it, it’s still relevant.
If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Do it when (and if) it’s right for you. It doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship isn’t solid
Having doubts in a relationship is completely natural. Fights escalate. Little things annoy you. And you look at someone else, if only for a second, and wonder ‘What if … ?’.
It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. But if you’ve seriously considered ending your relationship in the last six months, there may be underlying issues you need to address before moving in together.
2. You still have awkward silences
It may not seem like a big thing, but it is. If there are still moments where you find yourself frantically searching for something, anything to fill a gap in conversation, you’re probably not ready to live together.
Silences are fine. In fact, they’re natural. But they should be so comfortable you don’t even notice them. You’re not always going to want to talk or interact with your partner. You’re not always going to have something to say. It’s not possible to be interesting every waking moment of every day.
Life is hard enough; you don’t need the added stress of trying to make conversation. You should be able to be in the same room and happily ignore each other while doing your own thing, before you move in together.
3. You’re doing it for the wrong reasons
Don’t move in together simply because you’ve been together for a certain period of time and you feel it’s expected of you. Just because intrusive family members find it strange that you still live apart after five years doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong it.
There isn’t a set time you have to be together before you need share accommodation. Relationships are unique to the people in them and yours will develop at its own speed. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Do it when (and if) it’s right for you. It doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship isn’t solid.
Moving in together can be a truly amazing experience
It’s taking your relationship to the next level and you get to see your partner in a completely new light. Using something like a mortgage loan calculator is one of the least romantic things you can do together. But house hunting with the person you love is one of the most romantic things you can do.
Just make sure it’s with the right person at the right time.