Last updated on May 18th, 2017 at 03:28 pm
Many women battle to find the balance between many aspects of their lives, like career and family. Paula Facci offers help…
The three most sought after states of being by clients coming to me for coaching are most certainly happiness, freedom and balance. And especially amongst my female clients, the latter is virtually always on their list of goals, if not at the top of the list.
So what is balance?
The common view amongst most women seems to be that balance is a perfect recipe of fitting exactly the right amount of little bits of everything that they deem important, into their day. This is also sometimes referred to as their â??ideal dayâ?.
Usually this will include work responsibilities and demands, activities and responsibilities around kids and family life, health and wellness activities such as gym, time with their spouse and the forever eluding â??me-timeâ?, not to mention the list of lifeâ??s admin duties such as groceries, banking, etc.
Many women have bought into this conditioned definition of balance, constantly chasing this dream of having it all, all at once, every day. And when their day does not include this perfect mix of to-dos, they donâ??t fulfill on what they perceive to be â??living a balanced lifeâ?, and they experience their lives and themselves as unbalanced.
Balance is about personal choice
Our challenge as women is perhaps, not so much squeezing everything into our daily lives, but rather to accept that perhaps sometimes we canâ??t have it all, or at least all at once, every day. Or rather everything that we perceive or think we should be having and doing, according to societyâ??s expectations.
One definition of balance that really resonates with me is: â??Balance is the ability to maintain equilibrium against the force of gravityâ?
There are many forces constantly at play in our lives, and for most women, the ones with the most gravity and which cause them the most conflict is that of family and career. The question to really ask yourself here is what will support you to maintain your equilibrium with regards to work and family life?
Every woman out there is different, so what works for one person will not work for the next, what gives you balance will not necessarily apply to the next woman. There is no generalized solution or blanket approach in achieving balance.
There is no right and wrong; there is only what is right for you
So which mix of work and family life will enable you to experience a sense of fulfilment or balance? You should focus on what is most important to you right now, and make a choice from complete personal freedom, not trying to satisfy anybody else or prescribing to any perception of what balance should look like.
The important thing to realize here is that every decision will have consequences; there will be sacrifices or limitations on either side of the scale. If you decide that you are an all out career woman, then it is pointless to beat yourself up for not having hours a day to spend with your family or friends. Likewise if you decide to focus on your family, then donâ??t be expecting to climb the corporate ladder and travel the world on business.
The point is that we need to make choices, take responsibility for them, understand the consequences or limitations involved, and then let go of the illusion that we can have it all, all at once, all the time.
Balance evolves with you
These choices donâ??t have to be permanent; they just need to suit your needs to attain your equilibrium right now.
Perhaps when the children are all grown up, you require something else to attain your equilibrium then; or once you have achieved a level of personal satisfaction in your career, you may decide to cut back and focus on family and friends or yourself more – your equilibrium or balance will evolve with you and will require different ingredients at different times in your life.
Finding your balance
In order to support you in finding your equilibrium, ask yourself the following questions:
1. What does balance mean to me?
2. What will give me most fulfilment in my life right now?
3. Which mix of ingredients (work, family, self, health, wellness, me-time etc.) will enable me to experience a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in my life right now?
4. How will I know when I have achieved a sense of balance?
a. What are the indicators?
b. How will I feel?
c. What will I be doing or not doing?
d. What will I have more of and less of in my life?
5. What choices do I need to make in order to achieve balance?
6. What do I need to sacrifice in order to achieve balance?
7. What consequences do I need to accept regarding my choices?
8. What illusions do I need to let go of in order to fully experience balance?
About the author
Paula is a professional Life Coach and Accredited Consciousness Coach® offering specialized life coaching programmes. She employs a unique and sophisticated type of life coaching, called Consciousness Coaching®.
Life coaching empowers you to put commitments in place, in order to create the future that you desire. Paulaâ??s coaching focuses on supporting her clients to find meaning, deepen their learning, improve their performance, strengthen their relationships and enhance their overall quality of life.
Consciousness Coaching® is an advanced methodology of life coaching, which combines standard life coaching with consciousness development. Coaching is facilitated either face-to-face at her home office, via Skype or telephone.
Paula offers the following specialized coaching services:
• Life Coaching & Consciousness Coaching® for personal growth and development
• Life Coaching for Depression
Cell: +27 82 856 4234