Last updated on Jun 10th, 2021 at 06:45 pm

I think I’ve always known that I wanted children–two of them to be precise. I was so certain that in my early twenties I even chose their names–Luke for the boy and Asha for the girl. At the time, I didn’t know what the names meant, I just liked them. Unfortunately things don’t always go according to plan and it was a shock when I discovered that I had fallen in love with a man who might be infertile.

Neil had had a vasectomy while married to his first wife and by the time we married, it had been eight years since his op. Nonetheless, everyone (wanting things to turn out well) blithely told us that it would be fine, vasectomies could be reversed. But I was still concerned and it turned out that I was right to be worried. After we were married, a friend who was a doctor sat us down and told us that given the time that had elapsed since his procedure, our sole option for having children was IVF.

I was devastated.

My only consolation was that my husband had always told me that if I wanted children, he would do whatever it took. And, he was as good as his word.

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