Dear Annie

I have a serious problem and I really hope that you can give me some advice.

I have been married for six years and I have twin boys of four years old. I work for a marketing company and I really enjoy my job because I got so tired of being home alone with just the twins for the first three years of their lives. My husband travelled a lot and I was really lonely.

At the beginning of the year my husband took another job so that he could be closer to home and help with the boys, who can be a real handfull and they really miss their dad when he is away. He was very frustrated in his previous job.

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He has formed a partnership with a man with whom he has been doing business and he is doing really well and getting on so well with his partner that they even planned a fishing trip together. My husband hasn’t had a close friend in a long time because he has had to travel so much. He even lent his new partner his golf clubs which he always treats as sacred.

A month ago he brought his partner home for dinner to meet me and the boys

We had a really good evening, along with some other friends. After dinner, I went to pack the dishwasher and my husband went out into the garage with some of the other guests to show them a project on which he is working. His new partner followed me into the kitchen to help me.

Then he hit on me…

When I was leaning over the dishwasher with both my hands full of plates, he came up really close behind me and kissed me in the neck before fondling one of my breasts.

I was so shocked that I did not know how to react! I could not believe that he would do that to me after supposedly being my husbands friend and a guest in my husband’s house. We could hear the men coming in from the garage and he stepped back and just carried on as if everything was normal. Did I somehow give this man the idea that I liked him by being friendly towards him?

Now my husband is wanting us all to go away together to a beach house that this man owns and I am dreading it

I tried to make excuses but my husband got angry with me, saying that I am not supporting him and we ended up having a big argument. I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want my husband to be hurt because he is so happy with his friend and the business that they are in together is very good.

Please tell me what I can do.
From
Teresa

Dear Teresa

Thank you for your letter. I am sure that you are glad to have your husband at home and not travelling so often. Everything seems to be going well for your husband, and after he had to sacrifice time away from his family in a frustrating job, it must be a relief to know that he is doing what he enjoys doing and is so happy now, not just at work, but also on a social level.

I can understand that you are reluctant to burst his bubble

The reality is that while he has a good job, is able to come home every evening and spend time with his family, the good friend part is only as good as having another hole in the head. With friends like these your husband’s enemies will start looking good!

Clearly his buddy was impressed when he lent him his prized golf clubs. Somehow it would seem that this has translated to what’s mine is yours.

I am sure that he would not appreciate your husband using his underwear or his toothbrush – what makes him thinking it’s ok to share his wife?

Mr buddy needs to learn some boundaries

I am sure that he would not appreciate your husband using his underwear or his toothbrush – what makes him think that it’s ok to share his wife? If being friendly to your guests excludes you flashing them, you can safely conclude that you are not giving them the message: “come fondle my breast while I clean up after you.”

Mr Buddy is being completely disrespectful to your husband and your husband needs a friend like this like the world needs to see more grown men in Speedos.

Your husband may have an astute business partner and it would seem that they had a good working relationship before they supposedly became friends.

Mr Buddy is not your husband’s friend

Friends want the best for you, they don’t take the breast, sorry, best, from you.

Your husband deserves to know the truth so that he can unwittingly refrain from getting sleeze-germs all over his golf clubs. Even if they are able to continue working together, your husband should have a heads-up that Mr Buddy will probably also be stealing the staples, coffee mugs and office chairs.

You are beautiful!
Love and blessings
Annie