Celebrities continue to breed and brag at an alarming rate…

Elton John and long time partner are now officially parents thanks to a surrogate. They received their bundle of joy on Christmas day! I also want a baby for Christmas dammit! To hell with perfume and lingerie.
 
The family that is the Beckham breeding machine recently announced that Posh is expecting their fourth child. (Does this mean she will finally start eating for one?)
 
Celine Dion (42) gave birth to twin boys. One of which she named after Nelson Mandela (Respect!).
 
John Travolta’s wife, Kelly Preston gave birth to their son, Benjamin – Kelly is like nearly 50 years old!
 
It bugs me that a gay couple, a well dressed stick insect and women more than a decade older than me have pipped me to the baby making post. I seriously need to find myself a decent and normal man. Where the hell do they hide these days? I have to get my procreation plan on track.
 
South African swimwear model, Lee-Ann Liebenberg had a little girl, Gia, in October last year. From what I read in the YOU magazine, this little sproglett, who is super cute, is going to be raised like royalty. That’s if her parents’ comments about how her nappy bag is DIOR and the wall paper in her room is Ralph Lauren are anything to go by. Actually that whole article was far too much. Every sentence just seemed to have ‘extra icing’.  By all means show off your gorgeous child but why do you need to go on and on about your various homes, your ‘extensive’ travels and that your child will only wear designer clothes? Seriously…Why? 

Lee-Ann and her fiance, Nicky Van Der Walt, came across like South Africa’s version of J-Lo and Marc Anthony – whose twins had diamond rattles and designer prams. (OTT)

Mariah Carey (40) and her hubby are also expecting twins this year. That interview is going to be a piece of work. No doubt.

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Articles such as these really should have a ‘Disclaimer’ that states: Reading this load of BBS (Braggity Bull Sh*t) could result in feelings of extreme nausea…vomit bag definitely required!

Expect it:

Coming soon to the pages of your favourite magazine.
 
Diva and the Dunce welcome twins!  

So, let’s see what can we establish from today’s bleat…..

• Everyone is having babies… except Jina (Bitter pill)

• Celebrities can ‘order’ babies for Christmas … Jina got perfume and lingerie. (Where is the justice in this world?)

• Beckham has been bending it (“it” being Posh Spice) and baby no. 4 is on its way… Jina needs to start getting bent!

• Women in their 40s and 50s are having sex and falling pregnant … Jina is not yet 30, is having no sex and obviously not falling pregnant

• Some celebrities are divas and their partners are dunces … Jina is no diva but sometimes dates the odd dunce (not good for baby making)

PS: 
Dunce
noun simpleton, moron, (informal), bonehead (slang), loon (informal), goose (informal), ass, donkey, oaf, dullard, dimwit (informal), ignoramus, nitwit (informal), dolt, blockhead, halfwit, nincompoop, fathead (informal), dunderhead, lamebrain (informal), thickhead, numbskull or numskull. “He was a dunce at mathematics.”