It’s very important for the couple to take steps to solidify their relationship in order to maximize the chances of a successful family.

1. Involve your partner in every step of the process

Form a true partnership. If he is involved, it will help distribute and even help to combat the stress associated with both the diagnostic process and ongoing treatment.

2. Set aside time for “real” conversation

Put your hopes/concerns out there for sharing. Sharing is more than just stating…it’s a reciprocal process where both parties try to understand the otherâ??s feelings.

3. Take a break

It’s very easy for infertility to become an all-consuming obsession. It can also be a full-time job if you let it. Realize that this may go on for months or even years, and you might need a break from it, just as you would from any other job.

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4. Trust yourself

You know your body better than anyone. You have instincts â?? use them. Whether it’s to identify that a particular course of treatment isn’t for you, or to decide if a new doctor might be better suited to you, or even if a diagnosis doesn’t seem to fit.

5. Trust your doctor

You may feel that you and your spouse have researched every possible aspect of infertility out there (thanks to the Web) and know better. While it is a great idea to empower yourself with knowledge, remember and respect that your doctor is specially trained in this. Take a deep breath and try to listen to your doctor before deciding that you know better.

6. Be vocal

Speaking up to your doctor, your spouse, your friends/family â?? itâ??s important that you be heard. Don’t be afraid to tell your doctor about a treatment you’ve read about, don’t be afraid to ask your spouse to take on more responsibility, and don’t be afraid to make your wishes/expectations clearly known so friends and family won’t hurt you inadvertently.


Remember that fertility treatments have an end. Your relationship will continue well beyond this undertaking â?? whether it’s as parents or in a new direction. You’ll be in it together and will need something else on which to focus when fertility is no longer the dominant thing in your lives.

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