Getting along with a critical mother-in-law can be quite trying. Sometimes knowing how to deal with the situation seems impossible.
The first step is to try to define just why she is so difficult
Is it because she is having trouble letting go of her baby boy? Is it that she feels you donâ??t do things the way she does and that is causing a problem for her?
Whatever the reason, it can be hard to define. Still, this is an important part of the problem solving process.
When trying to figure this out, begin by observing her
How does she treat her son versus you? Has she always treated you this way or was there a defining moment when the difficulty began?
Talk to your husband
This is the part you will probably dread the most, short of actually talking to her, but it is necessary. Be careful when doing this. Remember chances are that he loves his mother, and talking against her will only put him on edge and make you the bad guy in the situation.
Approach the subject in a way that shows you are willing to work on the problem. Explain to him that you want to solve it so that there will be no more difficulty for anyone. He may be more receptive to this approach.
Figure out what you will and wonâ??t accept and make sure the boundaries are very clear. Setting boundaries will show her where you stand. If your mother-in-law is trying to run your home then itâ??s time to take charge.
Talk to your mother-in-law
Ask her if she has a problem with you and if so, what is it. She may not tell you but at least you will have asked.
Pick your battles. This is very important
Donâ??t get bent out of shape at every little thing she does. Instead, save the high emotions for those times that really count. She and her son may be more willing to listen because they wonâ??t view you as over reacting.
Make every effort to get along with your difficult mother-in-law
Bear in mind that she may very well live with you some day if she doesnâ??t already, and the better the relationship is between you and her, the easier this will be for everyone involved.
Remember that she is your husbandâ??s mother and be respectful of her at all times. Sheâ??ll be more apt to accept you and show the same respect in return if you take the first step.