Patience is often referred to as a virtue or a habit, and practising patience is a positive action. Therefore, patience is something that can be developed. Relationships present many circumstances that call for patience, and patience is necessary for having a healthy and functional relationship. You can learn patience by following these guidelines:
1. Focus on your mindset
You may have thoughts, beliefs and ways of thinking that are not conducive to practising patience. In order to learn how to be more patient, it is necessary that you adjust your mindset in a way that promotes patience.
Be mindful in situations that challenge your patience. Take note of the emotional, physical and mental responses you are having from others in order to learn to recognize the ways in which you react to such challenges. This helps you cope with relationship challenges by learning to practise and apply patience.
Eliminate thoughts that centre around what you feel “must”, “should”, or â??oughtâ? to happen. Impatience is often the result of unfulfilled expectations. Remember that life is unpredictable and that there are many circumstances that are beyond your control.
Practise self-talk. When relationship issues that test your patience arise, mentally recite affirmations that you can and will be patient. For example, “I am capable of practising patience, and I will calm down and listen.”
2. Check your ego and your desire to be right
Determine how much of your impatience is due to your ego â?? your desire to be right or to have things go according to your plan. To develop patience, you will need to acknowledge and accept that a relationship involves two people, and that your perspective is only part of the equation.
3. Encourage open communication in order to learn patience in a relationship
Commit to practising patience even in the face of things with which you may not agree or may not want to hear. Relationships require open and honest communication. The more comfortable both of you are with sharing thoughts and feelings, the less likely it will be that you display passive-aggressive behaviours that challenge patience and damage relationships.
4. Take note of your level of patience within a relationship dynamic
You will notice that both of you have certain strengths and weaknesses, and that you will need to work together in order to make the relationship work. It is possible to learn patience by focusing on your cooperative efforts and being mindful of how you each contribute to the success of the relationship.
5. Spend time in personal reflection
Contemplate, during personal reflection, the various ways in which you can develop patience through your own efforts, and how you may consciously practise patience in your relationship.
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