Any breakup can be hard, but an unexplained one can be even harder. You’re left wondering what you’ve done wrong, whether it was your fault, and if there was anything you could have done to save it.
Here are ten useful guidelines on how to handle an unexplained breakup:
1. Examine the relationship deeply for what may have gone wrong to cause the unexplained breakup
Go over what made you unhappy and what made your ex unhappy. Look at what was significant in the relationship to try and determine what may have caused him to want to break up without first trying to work things out. Perhaps your ex feels that he tried, but you didn’t.
2. Consider the fact that your ex may have been cheating
Many times, cheating causes guilt, which in turn causes inexplicable behaviour and rash actions. Even without cheating or guilt, your ex might have wanted to leave the relationship for someone else, or simply to go it alone.
3. Ask for an explanation
You deserve an explanation at the very least, so try to ask what went wrong to cause the unexplained breakup. Avoid angry or accusatory language, and avoid begging for your ex to return.
4. Consider whether there’s any point in asking for a chance to work things out
Sometimes, relationships are just not worth resurrecting. Other times, though, it may still be possible to save a relationship. You will have to assess whether there might still be a chance to work things out.
5. Let it go if you cannot work things out
Process and work through the emotions and confusion, but try not to obsess about an unexplained breakup. Know when to let go of a broken relationship that cannot be resuscitated.
6. Learn from your unexplained broken relationship
All relationships can teach you something â?? what works and what doesn’t work for you. Itâ??s worth reassessing what you need from a relationship and whether there are things you can do or change within yourself to improve future relationships.
7. Call on friends and family for support to help with an unexplained breakup
Dealing with an unexplained breakup by yourself is tough, so lean on your friends and caring members of your family for support. It always helps to discuss your situation with someone close to you. This will give a new perspective on your situation, and may well help you to gain more clarity and insight into your unexplained breakup.
8. Give yourself time to recover and heal before moving on
Feeling sad and lonely after an unexplained breakup is normal. Rebound relationships rarely work, except when it’s not one based on a serious committed relationship, but more on a relationship based on friendship and support.
One of the worst side-effects of experiencing an unexplained breakup is that you start to doubt yourself, your decisions, and your judgement. It certainly undermines your sense of self-worth and your willingness to trust others. Know that these feelings are unavoidable and will pass with time â?? whether you decide to go it alone for a while or indulge in a little casual dating.
9. Avoid feeling sorry for yourself
It’s hard to avoid at first, that’s understandable, but feeling sorry for yourself and giving up isn’t going to get you back on your feet. Try to work towards happiness again. Begin doing things you like, go to concerts and movies, and hang out with your good friends and your family.
10. Know that you will love again after an unexplained breakup
Many people who have experienced an unexplained breakup think that theyâ??ll never love again. However, most find that all the trials, struggles and pains of previous relationships have taught them to be a better partner. They are therefore newly equipped to go on to much more stable, happier relationships in the future.