If you’ve watched the sitcom Modern Family, you’ll know that one of the couples in the show enjoyed exploring role-playing on Valentine’s Day!

In the sitcom, Phil poses as Clive Bixby, a visiting businessman, and Claire as Julianna, a local housewife. It invariably ends in some hilarity, but it is certainly something that helps keep the spark alive in their relationship. (Watch the clip below to see how it plays out).

Have you ever explored role playing in your own relationship?

Couples enjoy exploring role play ideas like “sex with a stranger” or “sex with a comic book character”.

But role playing does come with a little warning. In my opinion, there is a big difference between FANTASY role playing and REALITY role playing.

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For example, pretending to be “A beautiful, lonely young woman at a bar, just waiting for a handsome young suitor to sweep her off her feet,” is different to choosing a real-life character as the suitor.

For the fantasy role, there is excitement in the idea of “getting together with a stranger,” but there is also a certain level of safety in knowing at the back of your mind that the stranger is really your partner.

Crossing the line?

For the reality role, it might be crossing the line to role-play someone who actually exists, such as your boss, your sexy neighbour down the street or even a celebrity.

In my opinion, role playing a real-life character may open up possibilities in the relationship that weren’t there before – like having an affair with Brad Pitt is actually allowed (obviously there’s not much chance of it happening, but it does unlock a door…). And if that is allowed, maybe having an affair with the neighbour who looks like Brad Pitt is also allowed. It all depends on how far you will allow yourself to go when constructing your role play.

With a fantasy scenario and role play, you know that the fantasy is never going to present itself in reality, but you can still enjoy the excitement and “newness” of the role-play together with your partner.

Remember that both partners must feel comfortable with the role playing scenario. Discuss your boundaries before you begin and make sure that you understand the limits and expectations of the role playing.