Radio 2000 presenter and ‘Raising Babies’ host Carol Ofori and her husband Greg celebrated their sixth wedding anniversary on Women’s Day 9 August!
“Being married has been such a beautiful and special time. I have learned so much in the six years since I changed my last name from Ralefeta to Ofori,” says Carol.
“Marriage is an incredible union – however many pin this journey on the white dress, fancy cake and tailored suit, but it is way more complicated than that,” Carol says.
“The coming together of two different people, with two different personalities, can be challenging. We did wait six years before tying the knot and I do believe that those six years really helped us understand each other very well. Had we gotten married any sooner, I don’t not believe that our marriage would have lasted. God’s timing on our union was clear. I look forward to another 600 more years with my forever man.”
Adding kids to the mix shook things up
While the transition from engagement to marriage was fairly easy, when kids came along, Carol says that they had to redefine their roles, and their relationship.
“It was not easy at all,” recalls Carol in an interview with All4Women. “In the beginning, naturally, we argued a lot, especially over small simple things like – how to change a nappy. I would be so convinced that my way was the best way. With time and fruitful conversations, I realised I needed to let him do those things the best way he knew how. Also, at times he knows that sometimes ‘mommy’s way’ may just be a better way. So, it’s a true balancing act.”
The couple also know how to spoil each other through their love languages
“I love material things and also for him to whisper sweet nothings in my ear,” Carol told All4Women. “A combo of the two, and I am in heaven!”
“For him, its food. He loves my cooking and mostly loves my homemade Thai Crab curry. When it’s a special day like Father’s Day or a birthday, a home cooked meal is the love language he loves. He also loves spending time with us as a family and clearing my schedule to do just that makes his day every time.”
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On her sixth anniversary, Carol shared six tips that she has learned during her marriage which she hopes can help others in their journey of love:
1. Communication is key
This goes without saying but communication is something that is so important in a relationship. Talking, laughing and sharing is the key to nurturing your relationship and the more you talk about EVERYTHING honestly the closer you get to each other.
2. Make each other your number one
Your partner should be your number one above all humans but NOT above God. Your partner should always be your first consideration in all that you do. Your partner should even be above your kids because for the kids to be happy, mom and dad have got to be happy first.
The truth is, children take up a lot of our time and we find ourselves tired and not being as imitate as we would love to be. We are well aware of this – hence the “no compromise” when it comes to date nights. Having children has also exposed each of us to just how loving and nurturing we both are as people – which has been beautiful to watch.
3. Support is so important
Your friends and family are so key to your marriage’s success. Keep friends who want your marriage to win close, and marry into a family that is FOR your marriage to begin with. That way you have them to lean on when times are tough. You can’t go into a marriage without the support of God and each other’s family.
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4. Investing in your marriage is key
You can invest in your marriage in a variety of different ways. Praying and fellowship together is an investment, making time for dates and intimacy draws you closer and going for counselling when times are tough and attending marriage workshops where necessary is key.
Put in as much work as you would put in for your monthly cheque and you should be good. Many people expect to have fruitful relationships but put zero to little work put in. Just like you study and do workshops to better your career, you should do the same for your marriage.
5. Date nights are vital
Date nights are important for catch ups. Even though you may live in the same house, you actually could miss so much in each other’s lives – especially if you have children.
Make time for a date – even if its coffee on the balcony with no kids for a few hours. Use this time to catch up on the each other’s lives. Asking a simple question like “How are you?” can reveal so much.
I love food and wine, so a combo of the two are a perfect match for me. When budget allows, we go away (far away!), catch a few planes if we have, to and spend exclusive time alone.
However, with lockdown we have been creative – from coffee dates on our balcony – to having late night conversations with hugs and cuddles when the babies are asleep. It really is about being fully present when you spend the time together: TV off, phone on flight mode and fully connecting.
6. Ask uncomfortable questions at comfortable times
This is so important. Ask questions that may feel uncomfortable but choose the right time to ask them.
Some examples include:
- “Are you happy my love?”
- “Is your job fulfilling you?”
- “Sexually are you fulfilled or could we do more?”
- “How are you feeling emotionally about life?”
These are uncomfortable questions but, if asked in the right setting with the right loving tone, they can yield so many benefits to growing as a couple and not moving like two ships in the night.