“Psychological violence is overlooked, destructive and destroying” – Signe M. Hegestand

This personal TED talk by psychologist, Signe M. Hegestand looks at the unconscious patterns that shape our behaviour…

Signe M. Hegestand is an authorised psychologist, psychotherapist and Mindfulness Instructor. In autumn, 2019, she published a book about moving on after a psychologically abusive relationship.

“I want to raise awareness of how unconscious relationship patterns affect our love life, so that people can create healthy and loving relationships and nurturing environments for children to grow up in.”

What have you done in the hope of being loved and cared for?

“Have you gone through painful and humiliating situations where you didn’t express your limits because you were afraid of being rejected?” askes Hegestand.

Subscribe to our Free Daily All4Women Newsletter to enter

“Emotional abuse is illegal by law in Denmark and Britain. But it’s very difficult to prove in a lawsuit – the only witness is the victim.”

Emotional abuse is characterised by: systematic persisting, demeaning, scornful, devaluing humiliating behaviour from your partner. They control your social life, financial decisions and manipulate you emotionally. They can be very jealous.

This results in high level of stress, anxiety and depression, and even PTSD for women.

“Some of us have a very bad starting point,” says Hegestand. “My work focusses on helping women change patterns of behaviour and how they are part of this ‘destructive dance’…”

Listen to her fascinating talk below:

 

SAPS Emergency Services 10111
Toll-free Crime Stop number 086 00 10111
GBV Command Centre Contact the 24-hour Gender Based Violence Command Centre toll-free number 0800 428 428 to report abuse
STOP Gender Violence Helpline Tel: 0800 150 150/ *120*7867#
South African Police Service Report all cases of rape, sexual assault or any form of violence to a local police station or call the toll-free Crime Stop number: 086 00 10111
Legal Aid South Africa Call the toll-free Legal Aid Advice Line 0800110 110 for free legal aid if you cannot afford one
Commission for Gender Equality Report Gender Discrimination and Abuse: 0800 007 709
South African Human Rights Commission Call 011 877 3600 to lodge a complaint about human rights violations.
Domestic violence Helpline Stop Women Abuse: 0800 150 150
AIDS Helpline 0800 012 322
The Warrior Project FREE legal helpline for victims of domestic abuse: 0860 333 353
People Opposed to Woman Abuse(Powa) http://www.powa.co.za, Tel: 011 642 4345
Child Welfare South Africa http://childwelfaresa.org.za/, Tel: 074 080 8315
Childline South Africa http://www.childlinesa.org.za/, Tel: 0800 055 555
Families South Africa (Famsa) http://www.famsaorg.mzansiitsolutions.co.za/, Tel: 011 975 7106/7
Tears Foundation http://www.tears.co.za/, Free SMS helpline: *134*7355#, Tel: 010 590 5920
The Trauma Centre http://www.trauma.org.za/, Tel: 021 465 7373
Thuthuzela Care Centres http://isssasa.org.za/