Last updated on Jun 11th, 2021 at 10:48 am

“Psychological violence is overlooked, destructive and destroying” – Signe M. Hegestand

This personal TED talk by psychologist, Signe M. Hegestand looks at the unconscious patterns that shape our behaviour…

Signe M. Hegestand is an authorised psychologist, psychotherapist and Mindfulness Instructor. In autumn, 2019, she published a book about moving on after a psychologically abusive relationship.

“I want to raise awareness of how unconscious relationship patterns affect our love life, so that people can create healthy and loving relationships and nurturing environments for children to grow up in.”

What have you done in the hope of being loved and cared for?

“Have you gone through painful and humiliating situations where you didn’t express your limits because you were afraid of being rejected?” askes Hegestand.

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“Emotional abuse is illegal by law in Denmark and Britain. But it’s very difficult to prove in a lawsuit – the only witness is the victim.”

Emotional abuse is characterised by: systematic persisting, demeaning, scornful, devaluing humiliating behaviour from your partner. They control your social life, financial decisions and manipulate you emotionally. They can be very jealous.

This results in high level of stress, anxiety and depression, and even PTSD for women.

“Some of us have a very bad starting point,” says Hegestand. “My work focusses on helping women change patterns of behaviour and how they are part of this ‘destructive dance’…”

Listen to her fascinating talk below:


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