You might have thought that he was someone who could be a great life partner ? even your dad would have liked him! So why was the first date the last one? Where did you go wrong?
Dating coach, Lu-Anne has put together a list of the top 7 first-date mistakes women make:
1. You were over eager, so you came across as desperate
Ask yourself the following:
Did you laugh too hard? Were you too concerned about saying the right thing? Are you willing to drive two hours to see him instead of coming up with a halfway point? Did you arrive really early?
Advice: Don?t try so hard to impress him that you aren?t true to yourself. Be sure to arrive either on time or five minutes fashionably late – but don?t make him wait for 30 minutes!
2. You overdressed (or underdressed)
Overdressing can make him feel awkward. Don?t go over the top with your outfit and make-up, and remember that there?s a fine line between looking like a movie star and looking like a call girl.
Advice: Find out where you?re going on your date so you can dress appropriately for the venue. Pick a part to feature. Show some cleavage OR some leg, but not both.
On the other hand, when you don?t make an effort to look good on a first date, you send a message to the guy that he?s not important enough.
3. You acted like it was a therapy session
On a first date, it?s best not to get into any serious discussions. This means, keep your life story short and simple, don?t bring out the ex-files, don?t discuss politics, or attempt to convert him to your religion.
Advice: If you?ve waited a long time for a guy to ask you out, don?t try to rush the process of ?getting to know each other? by telling him every detail of your life in one go. It’s like throwing a bucket of water on a match – it will put out the fire.
Okay, so you have a stressful job and your week sucked – honestly, he doesn’t care about that on the first date! No matter how stressful or wonderful your life is, to divulge too much on a first date is a huge mistake. It leaves no mystery for the man to uncover on future dates. Keep it light-hearted and save the drama for your therapist.
4. You talked too much or not enough
Use the first date to analyse his behaviour and see if he?s worth your time. This means that you shouldn?t hog the conversation!
Pay attention to his behaviour, and figure out if he has good manners, if he seems genuinely interested in getting to know you. Or does he brag about himself a lot, and seem self-centred.
Advice: The best thing you can do is to learn more about your date than he learns about you. He’ll feel great about all the attention, and he’ll also develop the desire to learn more about you. However, don?t hold back too much! You don?t want him to carry the entire conversation, or refuse to tell him anything about yourself.
5. You paid too much attention to your cell phone
There?s absolutely no reason for you to make use of your cell phone at the table during a date, unless one of your family members is dying in hospital.
Advice: Switch your phone on silent and only check your messages during bathroom breaks.
6. Maybe you forgot to be classy?
On a first date, mind your manners! Don?t drink too much – you don’t want to say or do things you won’t remember the following day. Don?t curse or engage in sexual conversations. Anything that could be construed as racist, offensive or derogatory should never be said either!
Advice: Say thank you, please and be polite to the waitron.
7. You slept with him
Not having sex on a first date isn?t about being prudish, it?s about being smart. Chances are great that at the end of a first date, even if it was amazing, you still won?t know whether he?s going to ask you out again.
When sex happens on a first date, the chances of developing a relationship decrease significantly. You risk losing a man?s respect and you risk getting an STD or pregnant.
Advice: More often than not, the man loses attraction and the inclination to pursue. It?s ?game over?. The longer you put it off, the better. You?ll not only gain more of his respect and trust, but you?ll also create more sexual intensity when you do make love.
Remember, your goal for a first date doesn’t have to be happily ever after. Have a good time and let your personality shine, but be careful not to ruin things before they get started by scaring your date away.