Here are six questions to ask yourself if you want to find out whether you’re settling for Mr. Right Now instead of falling in love with Mr. Right…
Settling in a relationship can leave you feeling stuck, wondering what you should do next. You start questioning if your love is Mr. Right or Mr. Right now, and sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between the two.
So what should you do when you find yourself wondering if your partner is ‘the one?’ Here are six questions to ask yourself if you want to find out whether you’re settling for Mr. Right Now instead of falling in love with Mr. Right.
1. Do you want to commit to your partner?
Does your partner avoid talking about their future with you?
Do you shy away from committing to your partner? Do you have nightmares about settling down with them?
You shouldn’t have to cajole, negotiate, or reason with your partner to try to get them to commit to you. The right person will be forthcoming with their commitment to you.
Commitment will take care of itself. If the idea of moving in with or marrying your partner scares either of you, strongly consider letting them go.
2. Does your partner understand your sense of humour?
I’ve tried hard to have a strong relationship with a man who wasn’t playful, and the relationship didn’t work out. While I might have loved a lot of things about him, the fact that he didn’t have my sense of humour eventually became the nail in the coffin.
The idea of gratingly explaining my sarcastic jokes for the next 50 years was enough to send a shiver down my spine.
In a permanent relationship, sharing a sense of humour is absolutely critical. On the surface, it doesn’t seem like a deal-breaker, but seeing your lover stare blankly whenever you crack a joke can become annoying.
Do you really want to build a life with someone who’s never in on the joke?
3. Are you bored?
Do most of your interactions with your partner feel ‘old-hat?’ Does it feel like you’re just going through the motions in your relationship? Do you secretly hope that your partner will finally interest you?
How does it feel when you think about ‘the rest of your life’ with this person? Does it all feel crushingly monotonous?
This is a big red flag that it’s time to reassess your relationship and look for Mr. Right.
4. Does your partner fall flat in the bedroom?
At one point, the sex may have been hot, but now it’s just… not.
Sure, you guys might still ‘get it’ sometimes, but when sex competes heavily with chocolate and re-runs, it’s time to reassess and regroup in your relationship.
5. Do you envy your friends’ love lives?
Do you secretly envy your friend’s happy relationship but have no idea why? From all appearances, you may feel that you should be just as happy as they are.
Do you look at your partner and think, “I wish they were sexier!” or worse, “Wow, that other person over there looks delicious?”
If so, it might be time to assess your overall feelings about your relationship.
6. Do you feel like you’re settling?
When it comes to relationships, I’m a big believer in trusting your gut. If you’re settling, deep down, you’ll know it.
If you’re constantly asking your friends if they think that your relationship is happy, you may be in the wrong relationship. Needing validation that your relationship is fine is a strong indicator that it’s time to move on.
It’s time to break out of your unfulfilling relationship and find a real life partner. Stop settling for ‘good enough’ and make the changes you need. In the short-term, it might be hard to leave your relationship, but do you really want to wake up in 10 years longing for someone else? Me neither.
Originally published on YourTango