Last updated on Jun 21st, 2021 at 01:39 pm

Having children do as we ask without any conflict can be tricky, but it can be done

Let’s not beat around the bush: Parenting is hard.

Sometimes (actually a lot of the time) it can feel like we’re doing everything wrong…

… which usually has something to do with how much (or little!) our kids actually listen to us.

And, while having children do as we ask without any conflict can be tricky, it can be done. Here are some positive parenting tips to help you out:

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Kids not listening? Try these tips

If your child point blank refuses to listen to what you’re saying, despite you giving him ‘the look’, raising your voice and threatening to take away every single privilege under the sun, then it might be worth asking yourself:

  • Is your child hungry? Most moms will agree: kids get stroppy when their blood sugar drops!
  • Is your child tired? Tired kids
  • Would a change of scenery improve things? Fresh air and a walk around the block could be all that’s needed to diffuse the situation.
  • Have you been paying attention to them? Yes, you fetched your kids from school, made them lunch and set them up for homework. But, how much time have you actually spent with them, where you were present, engaged and talking with them and not to them? If we want our kids to listen to us, we too need to model good listening behaviour; and that means putting down our phones, our laptops and our to-do lists and listening to what they have to say.

Once you have asked yourself those four things, then:

  • Get down to their level: Kneel down in front of your toddler or take a seat at the dining room table with your older child.
  • Make eye contact: Making eye contact communicates that they have your full attention
  • Use positive words: Tell them what they can do vs. what they can’t do – for example, “you can play with the ball outside once you’re finished with your homework” instead of “you can’t play with the ball!”.

We, as parents, have so much control

We have the ability to empower our children to want to listen to us, to want to be better – and it all comes down to how we ‘parent’; how we treat our children and how we react to their actions (even when they’re undesirable).