You will not feel loved if you lack self-love within yourself
Experts say that it’s important to know how to love yourself if you want your relationships to last.
Do you have this lingering feeling of dissatisfaction in your relationships? Are you finding yourself continually feeling the despair of rejection or not feeling good enough in your relationships?
Lacking love within yourself makes you feel unloved
When you don’t know how to love yourself, you don’t feel loved in relationships no matter what. Love doesn’t feel enough. And when you don’t love yourself, you can get neither the love nor the healthy relationship you want.
Lacking love within yourself makes you feel unloved and you will only continue wanting more love. When you don’t feel loved, you end up searching for love from others instead of finding that love within yourself.
What keeps you from loving yourself?
What keeps you from loving yourself? What are some factors that turn your healthy relationships sour?
For one, suffering abandonment or unmet love in your childhood. This can make you internalise the belief that you’re not good enough and, subsequently, turn to various partners in the hope that they can make you feel valuable.
You yearn for someone to make up for that unmet love but are let down when no one can do that. You feel unloved in relationships and want someone else to love you so you can escape these feelings.
The fantasy of romanticised love in a relationship can trap you into chasing that feeling of love so you ignore any problems or abuse, hoping that someone will make up for your unmet needs and give you the love you want.
Well, sadly, this hope keeps getting crushed because no one can take away the pain and suffering for you. So, you’re left feeling unloved because love doesn’t feel enough. You are left with great longing and an empty heart that is unfulfilled.
When you don’t feel loved, you end up searching for love from others instead of finding that love within yourself
Instead, your search for unmet love continues – outside yourself.
When you don’t love yourself, you can think that your partner does not love you; you look for evidence to confirm the way you feel about yourself. And no matter how much they reassure you that they love you, you don’t feel it, so you can push their real love away.
But the truth of the matter is that no one can make up for that unmet love and give you what you’re searching for. You need to heal yourself by finding the love within yourself and meeting your own needs.
You need to be able to say to yourself, “I love myself and that is enough.”
No one else can give you what you need to provide for yourself.
If you let go of needing something from others because you’ve healed yourself, you don’t need to look outside yourself to feel good enough. Instead, you will be more open to receiving and giving love back in a realistic way.
When love isn’t enough, perhaps your hope keeps you from experiencing the kind of love you can to give yourself. When you heal yourself, you can become kinder and more loving towards yourself, so your real self will radiate and shine within.
Learning to love yourself will make you feel good enough for someone who is also enough for you…
When love isn’t enough, it is because you don’t love yourself. When you feel that others caused you to feel unloved, there may be a possibility that you’re externalising your feelings so you don’t feel them.
?Instead of locating your feelings – externally – in loved ones, try to locate them internally and question why you don’t love yourself. This allows you to avoid making others responsible for how you feel and take responsibility for sorting your feelings so they do not control you.
This will allow you to embrace who you really are and become loved for the real you.
When you love the person that you are, you don’t need others to fill the void inside you. You can give your relationship what it really needs so that love feels enough.
When you don’t love yourself, you will most likely feel not good enough for someone else. You will most likely be searching for someone to fill those unmet needs and make up for past hurts in order to feel good enough.
Truth: No one else can change the way you feel about yourself
The truth of the matter is that no one else can change the way you feel about yourself, so you will most likely feel disappointed or let down when love doesn’t feel enough.
You will not feel loved if you lack self-love within yourself. No matter what your partner says, love will never feel enough if you don’t feel enough. In fact, you can’t express how you really feel in order to feel loved in the right way.
Instead, you protect yourself in ways that push real love away, so you can’t get the love you want.
Nancy Carbone is a relationship expert who has an M.Soc Sc (couns). If you feel love isn’t enough, you can learn how to love yourself and embrace real love by contacting Nancy on her website or sign up for her newsletter for free advice and tips.