Dating to find yourself will ultimately make you realise not what you want in a partner, but what you want and deserve for yourself

Romance can break us apart. Yet it can also make us more whole in the natural state of life, union, balance and love. Love is the bond that allows one to appreciate someone’s commonalities with as well as their differences from one. Often, we search for love by dating to fill the void we feel inside.

Dating is the search for your soulmate. When we date, it’s imperative to not only court with the intention of finding our twin flame, but also with the purpose of better understanding ourselves.

Dating to find yourself involves discovering meaning in each date and relationship, regardless of how they end

You can learn just as much about yourself in heartbreak as you can in infatuation. Not everyone will be right for you. However, each person you encounter along your path will teach you a unique lesson.

Dating can help you discover more of your defined and undefined self

Take the time to reflect on each date and ask yourself critical questions. After all, the problems that we encounter within relationships are a symptom of some deeper problem within ourselves. At the end of the day, your romantic relationship is only as good as the relationship you have with yourself.

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When we establish self-love before dating, relationships no longer feel plagued with doubt, worry, or insecurity

It took me over 20 years to understand what self-love actually is: the belief that you are valuable and worthy.

It’s one thing to know yourself, and another to love yourself

We compensate for the lack of relationship we have with ourselves by searching for love outside of ourselves. What we really should do is first find that spark of love within our own hearts. It’s one thing to know yourself, and another to love yourself.

Knowing yourself takes presence, mindfulness, reflection and solitude. Loving yourself requires being your most authentic self, always. When you do this, you no longer need someone else to help you feel complete.

When we establish self-love before dating, relationships no longer feel plagued with doubt, worry or insecurity. Instead, our dating lives feel electric because they enhance our self-love further. Life takes care of itself when you love yourself, and this rings true in our romantic relationships.

There’s someone out there for each of us, but it’s our duty to know and love ourselves first

Take the time you need to become the partner you want to be. Understanding your emotional needs will make room for the partner you wish to attract. Learn about yourself through dating; don’t just hunt for someone to fill the void.

Dating to find yourself will ultimately make you realise not what you want in a partner, but what you want and deserve for yourself.

This article was first published on Unwritten.