Next time you think about reaching for that phone, stop
Picture this: It’s late at night. Your partner is fast asleep, maybe even snoring, and you see their phone light up. “Who would be reaching out to them at this time?” you think to yourself. The temptation begins to build as you contemplate to cross a line that should not be crossed.
Going through someone’s phone, or snooping, is something many of us look down upon. Luckily, I’m here to stop you from doing this.
Here are the five reasons why you shouldn’t go through your partner’s phone if you’re hoping to build trust in your relationship:
1. You’ll slip up at some point (and find out some things that probably aren’t your business to begin with)
It may not seem like a big deal at the time but when you snoop, you gain access to all of this information and you are effectively in this person’s shoes. Little details will be discovered, like conversations with friends and family, random emails, and social media messages. You’re going to have a lot of new information bestowed upon you all at once.
Maybe these aren’t major secrets, but they could be. Knowing someone’s deepest darkest secrets without them knowing is pretty terrifying.
Of course you’re most likely going to find something. But not finding anything usually leads to more questions than answers.
Let’s say you don’t find any secrets. What if you’re just conversing with your partner a while later, and you bring up some information you wouldn’t have known unless you went through their phone? Your partner may look at you strange, an awkwardness will ensue… and now you’ve put yourself in an uncomfortable predicament.
2. You go through it once, you’re likely to do it again
This may depend on your personality, but having the ability to go through someone’s phone is a window into their day-to-day life. It’s something very personal, and, even if you have nothing to hide, a lot of who you are is inside this device.
It says more about you then it does about them
Peering into this machine may cause a rush of blood to your brain, and adrenaline might consume you as you look through app after app after app, hoping (or not) to find something.
This can easily develop into a habit, and you will certainly not feel comfortable until ‘checking’ your partner’s phone just like you check your own before a good night’s sleep. You may begin to take this even further, and it is not healthy in the slightest.
3. You’ll eventually be caught
The rush you might get may come from the possibility of getting caught. This might be one of the strangest encounters possible in a relationship. Not as bad as getting caught cheating, of course, but definitely just under that.
Fear of being caught is never a good excuse, but it’s definitely a motive to NOT attempt this at all.
Imagine if your partner rolls over and opens their eyes slowly, still rubbing their tired eyes, only to find you perusing through their Instagram messages? Yikes! I’m sure you would like to avoid that confrontation.
4. You’re violating their privacy, plain and simple
We are all individuals and being in a relationship does not change that. Sharing is one thing, but violating privacy, without one’s knowing is sure to cause guilt and shame, if anything.
5. You’re also breaking their trust
What’s a relationship without trust? I could pummel you with vapid platitudes about trust for the rest of the article. But we all know how important trust is.
The main question that should be asked is what are you trying to find? At this point, there may be other problems in your relationship, so the important thing to do is to be mature and communicate before this even becomes a thought.
Why bother being with your partner at all, if there is no trust? Love is scary, but it should have rules. And when rules are broken, chaos ensues. Next time you think about reaching for that phone, stop. Don’t do it to yourself. And most importantly, don’t do it to them.
Brian Montes is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.
This article was first published on YourTango.