Dear Annie

I met a man when I was in a long-term relationship and ended up leaving my partner for him.

We have been together for a month and in that short space of time a lot of people have spread rumours and tried to break us up.

We got through all of that but recently he snooped through my phone and found a message to a friend of mine saying that I missed my ex partner and would take him back in an instant.

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I wrote it in a moment of weakness and didn’t mean it

I love my new partner so very much and only want to be with him.

Now he has left me, saying he doesn’t trust me and can never be with me, despite being in love with me.

I have practically begged him to stay with me because I love him so much and left a four-year relationship with the father of my two young daughters to be with him.

He says there is no trust and he can’t go through with a relationship with no trust.

Now he doesn’t want me and I’m devastated. What can I do?

Dear Bambi

Thank you for your letter.

Meeting a man while you are already in a relationship is never a good start!

I am wondering what your first relationship was like? Why were you looking elsewhere?

If there were insurmountable problems I assume that you would have broken up, especially since you longed for what you once had, once you left and were in your new relationship. Were you bored and excited about a fresh, new romance?

New romance is like the alluring smell of hot coffee brewing

It gets you drooling at the anticipation of that amazing cup of coffee. Fact is though, all too soon the coffee turns cold and then it requires some work to keep things fresh.

Fetching the water and grinding the beans takes effort. (Ok, fine, turning on the tap. Fetching the water sound so much more romantic though.) Before you know it youâ??re making do with instant and then feel enticed away with a new aroma.

Perhaps if your new partner had written to me it would read something like this:

Dear Annie, I absolutely love your wise and witty column (Iâ??m sure heâ??d be thinking that, even if he didnâ??t say it). I met a wonderful girl and we began a relationship.

Problem is she was with a man when we met â?? the father of her children â?? and she cheated on him.

I was flattered when I was the other man but when we became an item, I realised that she was not faithful in her previous relationship and so I probably couldnâ??t trust her.

I saw an sms that said she was longing to be back with her first man and then I realised that what I thought was true.

Why do you think that people spread rumours and tried to break you up when you first got together? The steam from hot coffee can mist our glasses and prevent us from seeing Mr Yummy clearly.

Family and friends, who know and love us, can see things that we donâ??t. While we make our own choices, it is always worthwhile to hear their opinions!

As you work out what you want in your relationships and how you can keep that, I trust that you will make good choices and find happiness.

You are beautiful!

Love and blessings