Agony Aunt Annie offers advice to a reader who let her ex husband back into her life, because her bought her a new car…
I got divorced from my emotionally abusive husband in 2009. He left me alone for about six months and then had all types of excuses to come to my house to visit our animals.
I was just adjusting and getting to enjoy my own company, when one day he pitched up at my house with a brand new car. He bought it for me, but it is registered in his name.
I asked all my friends and family what I was to do! All told me to refuse the vehicle. But my own car was already 10 years old and this new car was so NICE and I accepted it. Big mistake!
In September 2012 he just moved back into my house, taking over. He has now been back for 10 months, and back to his old despicable self – the man I could not stand.
When I ask him to leave, he reminds me about the car! I canâ??t afford at my age of 59 to buy another car! There is no physical relationship and he criticises my cooking and body all the time.
I am a prisoner because of a car! I donâ??t know how to get him out of my life
This might help other â??stupidâ? women out there. DO NOT accept expensive gifts from your ex-husband! He has another trick up his sleeve.
Thank you for your letter. Before the arrival of the new car, and the attachments, you say that you had adjusted and were enjoying your company. You were probably putting up with your old car too.
Then everything changed when that flashy new car pulled up in the form of a gift for you…
It doesnâ??t sound like you read the small print of the gift!
It seems that you were not in fact given a car, only the use of one. And then only if you abided by the unpleasant terms and conditions.
Imagine if you won a competition and the prize was a brand new car! I wonder how soon your excited calls to friends would turn into angry calls to your lawyer if you discovered that you were only free to use the car if you kept the accompanying really large, messy and stinky pig in the passenger seat at all times?
I mean to make no parallels between abusive men and stinky, messy pigs, but hey, if you concluded that, I will respect your conclusion.
The price tag on using the car, is sharing your space and life with an abusive and critical man who not only breaks you down, but who also expects you to feed him! At this point I am wondering if the car is a red Ferrari or Porsche? Wouldnâ??t it be cheaper to take the bus?
Consider for a moment if you had a price tag on you, what would it say?
Who was in the room when you decided how much you were worth? It sounds to me like you are selling yourself way too short! In Pretty Woman it may have seemed romantic, but isnâ??t it time that you take yourself off the bargain rack?
If he is going to complain about your cooking anyway, I suggest that you burn his supper to a cinder tonight. Tell him from now on you will be treating him like a Greek god by bringing him burnt offerings.
I hope that you discover yourself again and remember what you are worth. One does have a lot of time to think, when you are on the train or the bus!
You are beautiful
Love and blessings