Agony Aunt Annie offers useful advice to a reader whose (separated) husband won’t allow her access to her toddler twins…

Dear Annie

I’m a 28-year-old woman and a PA by profession. I have a five-year-old boy from before my marriage. I got married in 2011 and we were blessed with twins the same year of our marriage.
Now I and my husband are staying separately. The twins are staying with him and his parents. I’m back home living with my parents. He doesn’t want me to see my twins. We are still married but there is no communication between us.
I miss my kids

When we were together there were lots of ups and downs in my marriage. He was cheating, drinking and sometimes he never came back home, when he went out, to even check on us.
Please advise me and especially on the case of my kids. How can I get them back to me legally? This is really frustrating me.
The worst part is that he’s very stubborn and he doesn’t want to talk to me to discuss the way forward on this.
I will appreciate your response.
Dear Mkhwanzi
Thank you for your letter.
You say that you are a P.A. by profession. Sometimes life can be overwhelming and I am sure at times we all wished that we had a P.A. to handle the messy side of our lives!
While you and your husband are still married, you both have equal rights to your children
That means, that, without a court order stating otherwise, both parents have equal access to their children and one parent has no right to prevent the other parent from seeing the children. 
The longer that you go without seeing your children, the stronger your husband’s case can grow if he tries to discredit you as a mother.
It would be a good idea for you to contact a social worker and ask for help
Your husband may be able to refuse access to you, but he will not be allowed to do this if a social worker gets involved. Even if it is decided that the children are better off living with your husband, you still have rights to see them on a regular basis.
I am sure that the children miss you. They should also be allowed to spend time with their other sibling and maternal grandparents. Regardless of what happens between you and your husband, you will always both be the parents of the twins. 
A social worker could act as a facilitator to work out a joint parenting plan that would best benefit the children.
It sounds like you are not going to be put off by a stubborn man who refuses to talk to you. Take advantage of the help that is out there and available to you!
You are Beautiful!
Love and Blessings
Annie

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