Last updated on Jun 10th, 2021 at 04:52 pm

Your new guy has loads more female friends than male buddies – a genuine red flag or are you overreacting?

It is not uncommon for a person of one gender to be good friends with a person of the other. Now that more people are waiting until they are in their late 20s and 30s to marry, friends of the opposite sex often hang out together on a regular basis.

If you are dating a man who has mostly female friends, you may have often wondered if this is a red flag. The important thing to bear in mind is that most of his friends are women instead of just one. The likelihood of him dating them all is probably low. It could be that he gets along with other women quite well and has forged some close friendships over the years.

If you are prone to worrying about this, you could look for the presence of a few signs that could answer all your questions. While they wonâ??t provide a concrete resolution, they may be a good start.

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Did he tell you about his female friends at the beginning of your relationship?

If he was honest to start with, odds are he wanted to establish trust right away and show you there was absolutely nothing to worry about where his female friends were concerned. Honesty is a good thing so unless you have cause for worry, take him at his word.

Does he spend a great amount of time with any of his female friends?

If this is the case, you may feel neglected. Perhaps heâ??s used to hanging out with him, but you deserve attention too. Talk to him if this is the case, explaining how you feel.

Remember that it is far more effective not to be accusatory when you address this with him. Use sentences that start with “I”: “I feel excluded when…”, “I feel neglected when…” and so on. This helps to get your point across without him becoming defensive.

Does he single out one particular female friend to talk to or hang out with on a regular basis?

If so, he may have an interest in her. This could also mean she is an especially close friend of his, but this type of situation may require some checking out on your part.

Do his female friends accept you?

If his friends are cold, unwelcoming or rude to you, this is a cause for concern, and could indicate that one or more of them is threatened by you. If that’s the case, the friend in question may well be interested in your guy.

Try to get to know his female friends and bond with them – that way they become your friends as well. If they are not interested, talk to your boyfriend about why they aren’t accepting you.

If you feel threatened by his female friends, or the fact that he has them, ask yourself why you feel this way

Many women are of the opinion that a man having lots of female friends is not ‘natural’, and that it’s a red flag indicating either that he’s gay or he’s a player, simply trying to keep his options open.

Relationship blogger John Ortved, who has many female friends, has this to say on the subject: “I like to think that I approach people as people, and that I make friends based on shared interests and how much someone can make me laugh… Perhaps I feel like women are more open than men and that lends itself to more trusting friendships; perhaps I think that having female friends means that I will have inroads to their friends, and their friendsâ?? friends; or perhaps Iâ??ve realised that some of the strongest romantic relationships tend to be borne out of friendships, and I want to emulate those.
“Then again, perhaps I just happen to know fairly amazing girls.”

Unfortunately it’s impossible to make a blanket assumption about men who are friends with lots of women – what it says about the man will vary, depending on what kind of guy he is.

What you need to take note of is whether he is honest with you about who he is spending his time with and how he spends that time, and whether he includes you in his friendships with other women.