Last updated on Jun 10th, 2021 at 04:52 pm

When entering a relationship, many women find they compare themselves to their partnerâ??s ex. There are several reasons this might occur.

The key is to remember the new relationship is unique and should be treated as such.

Below are a few of the most common reasons and how you can avoid them.
You may compare yourself to your new guyâ??s ex to try and find where one relationship went wrong

The idea here is that if you can avoid mistakes made in a past relationship by not being like the ex, maybe yours will work. The truth is you will either be compatible or you wonâ??t – try to remind yourself of this when you are tempted to draw comparisons.
There are also those exes who remain special to him

Subscribe to our Free Daily All4Women Newsletter to enter

Perhaps you have found yourself wanting to be more special and frequently compare yourself to her in an effort to please him. Keep in mind there is a reason why he and his ex are no longer together. Just being yourself will have the most positive effect.
Some women compare themselves to their partnerâ??s exes to try and figure out just where they rank

This is often a bad idea as no two people are the same. Just because you know a lot about your partnerâ??s ex does not mean you are getting the whole picture.

It is common for women to compare how they look with how their partnerâ??s ex looks

This, too is a very bad idea. Remember, he is attracted to you for a reason and obviously enjoys looking at you every day. He is no longer with her so how she looks doesnâ??t really matter.
Age is another factor that women may use as a comparison against themselves and the ex

This may be especially true if the woman is older than her partner. She may feel threatened by his having dated younger women and wonder how she matches up. Again, people make choices for a reason and age isnâ??t necessarily an important factor in relationships today.
Many women often wonder if their partnerâ??s ex was better in bed

This is one of the most common comparisons women make. Sex will be different for every couple and should never be compared. It is also a good idea never to ask him about his past experiences with exes and instead, enjoy the individual experiences of the current relationship.
Some women also find themselves wondering about the profession of their partnerâ??s ex

Is she a lawyer? Did she go to medical school? Again, this does not matter. He isnâ??t dating you for your status in society. Instead of making these comparisons, enjoy his company while building a lasting relationship devoid of questions and possible jealousy.

If, however, you ever get the impression that he is comparing you to his ex – and NOT in a positive way – this is cause for concern. If he makes remarks about things she used to do that you don’t do, or compares your appearance or sexual prowess, you have a right to tell him that the comparison is hurtful and insensitive. If he persists, show him the door!