Last updated on Jun 10th, 2021 at 04:52 pm

Do you find yourself wondering if the good guys are currently all married or as gay as Sir Elton Johnâ??s wedding cake?

Is it time to stop looking for Mr Perfect and perhaps just lower your expectations a bit?

I mean, how hard can it be to find a man that can protect you from invading Philistines the one day and draw you a nice, warm, relaxing bath filled with Frankincense the next day?

Or one that actually listens to you talk while he quickly whips up a Lemon Chicken with Champagne Risotto?

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Surely a man that is as loyal as a St. Bernard, as trustworthy as an old wood-burning oven and one that loves you unconditionally, at your best and at your worst, shouldnâ??t be that hard to find?

When was the last time you fell in love?

Was it one late Tuesday afternoon in the canteen while you were having a toasted sandwich, or perhaps on your way to work one morning? Chances are you canâ??t remember because it is not something that just happens.

Experts will tell us that falling in love does not even happen when we are in someoneâ??s presence. We might be attracted to someoneâ??s smile, eyes, their physique, or whatever visually stimulates us.

But love happens when we are alone with only our thoughts keeping us company. This is when we filter people we are attracted to through our list that we have conjured up over the years. We go over their qualities and we look for signs to fall in love.

Have you ever wanted something so badly that it impaired your judgment?

When I was small a friend of mine had a remote controlled car and I wanted one so badly that I convinced myself it would complete my life and somehow fill a void that I was sure I had.

It did not matter to me that you had to charge the toxic batteries for three hours so you could drive for ten minutes, or that anything bigger than a dried up leaf would stop it dead in its tracks, I simply had to have one.

Years later I saved up enough money and bought my own. But after countless breakdowns and selling the neighboursâ?? pets for spare parts, I started to wonder if they did not make real toys anymore.

The funny thing is, I knew about all the problems and expenses beforehand, but my mind still convinced me to overlook them anyway. We all do this when sizing up a potential mate.

This means you might have to look deeper and make better choices

We have all developed a social mask over the years when talking about ourselves. Like advertising the next big pyramid scheme we learn what sells and what does not, so we flaunt these in conversations and hide the real terms and conditions behind the fondue sets of our persona.

If you want to connect with peopleâ??s real personalities you need to observe them when they spontaneously react to something. Their gestures, their behaviours and mannerisms might tell you more about them than words could ever do.

Start to observe people instead of just listening to them

A man could describe himself as a knight in shining armour, but look deeper and you might find a weak, unconfident man who is only trying to forget about his own problems by focusing on yours.

Overly ambitious men might be hiding an insecurity about which they secretly obsess and run from.

A lot of women find the freedom and independence of an immature man alluring. They will even fantasise about being the one who will eventually tame him, but dig deeper and you normally find nothing more than a man who was spoiled by his mother and will now expect the same from you.


Maybe there are still good men out there

Never lower your standards and settle just because you want to fill a void, and as difficult as it might sound, do not let your mind overlook nagging issues, because you canâ??t always sell your neighbourâ??s daughterâ??s hamster to fix a problem.

There are always warning signs and red flags indicating when someone is not a good person or if he is simply not right for you â?? as hard as it may be, paying attention to those red flags could save you a lot of heartache.

And if you’re not wasting your time on Mr Wrong, you’re far more likely to be available for your Mr Right.