Last updated on Jun 10th, 2021 at 04:53 pm

Do you ever find that you have to convince yourself constantly that your relationship is fine, even though your gut feeling tells you otherwise?

You have this great man in your life; the only problem is you might not really be a part of his life

I have an amazing friend who has unfortunately been used by men in the past. She has recently taken a stand and is convinced that from now on, within six months she will be able to know if a guy is worth her time and effort or whether she must send him on his merry way.

This inspired me to do some research and if, like her, you are on the lookout for signs of this looming danger, these might help.

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He does not really seem bothered to know things about you

Even though you have known him for weeks, you almost get the feeling that if you asked him how many siblings you have or even what your surname is, that he might burst into flames.

Of course you do not want to be strapped to a chair and interrogated with a flashlight every time he sees you, but the odd question here and there shows that he is interested in you as a person.

No one he knows actually knows about you

Men like to brag to each other about everything. From the age of four they are already comparing the size of their um … toy collection with their mates and the same goes for girls.

If he is proud of being with you, he will want the whole world to see you and will even insist on dragging you to his distant cousinâ??s former roommateâ??s bar mitzvah, even if neither of you are Jewish.

You seem to be part of only his last-minute plans

This same friend of mine believes that the later you are asked out in the week, the further down you are on his mental list.

And it makes sense to me; most men like to have things to look forward to, it makes the monotonous week seem worthwhile and planning is part of it. If he suddenly calls you up on a Friday evening to meet him somewhere, were you really part of his weekend plans all along?

Communication seems to have stopped

I have to confess that for most men, talking on the phone is painful, and we would rather enjoy a bit of alien probing instead, but keeping in touch one way or another is always a top priority if we are interested.

If he is not currently busy with something that might take a few hours to complete, like transplanting a monkey liver into Charlie Sheen, then I think it is reasonable to expect the odd timely reply.

Also be worried if he never talks about your relationship going further or your future together.

He never spoils you or surprises you

If he never buys you thoughtful gifts or flowers or chocolates, and even on your birthday you have to be happy with a handshake â?? be concerned.

If the only things he buys you are suggestive gifts like lingerie or the latest Kama Sutra Exotic Animal Edition, then you should question if he is really interested in you or just your body.

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Last but not least, would he still go out with you if you were holding out?

If you think his focus is purely on the physical aspect, take a step back and tell him you want to take things slower for a bit, and see if he sticks around.

The author of What women donâ??t want to hear says â??A man can have sex with you and not have any feelings for you. Also, a man doesn’t have to have any real feelings for you to sleep with you one time – or a thousand times!â?

This is probably the fastest way to find out if he values you for more than just the sexual satisfaction you give him.