Last updated on Jun 10th, 2021 at 04:53 pm
Look out for these warning signs when dating a new guy…
When you’re in the first flush of a new relationship, your guy can do no wrong in your eyes.
It’s important to keep your eyes open, though, as men will often tell us the things that become deal-breakers later in the relationship, right at the beginning – we just don’t want to hear it (or see it!).
“My last girlfriend was crazy”
Even if it’s true, a gentleman won’t talk trash about his ex, especially not to another woman and especially not on a first date.
If he does not speak respectfully of his previous partners, chances are he’ll be trashing you one day too.
The fact that his ex-girlfriend comes up in conversation at all is cause for concern, and there’s a possibility he’s still not over her.
Look out for this in yourself, too. Your exes shouldn’t really feature in the initial stages of dating and getting to know one another. If you speak too much or too derisively about the men in your past, your date will be wondering whether you’re really over them.
His place is a mess
Think about it: the first time you have a new guy over to your abode, you clean up, right?
If he isn’t doing the same for you, if he can’t be bothered to make an effort for it to look nice, he’s either lazy or not that interested, neither of which is good enough for you.
He doesn’t want kids
Obviously if you feel the same way, this isn’t an issue. But if you hear this red flag and think, “Oh, that’ll change,” think again. He may well feel differently in a few years’ time, but if having children is on your agenda anytime soon, you really should be dating someone who’s on the same page as you.
He also may never change his mind, and even if this is the only thing wrong with the relationship, it’s simply too big to ignore.
“I’m really focusing on my career right now”
Blogger Erin Meanley says, “This guy will be out wooing clients instead of wooing you.” Major red flag! Ambition is sexy, but too much of it and you will definitely not be a priority to him.
“Ambition is antithetical to love,” explains Erin. “One is selfish and one is selfless.”
He puts no effort into your dates
If a guy is out to impress, he will pick you up and take you to dinner at a nice restaurant at which he will have made a reservation. He may even bring along a good bottle of wine. If you’re having a really good time he will probably suggest a secondary venue for drinks or dessert after the meal.
If the date doesn’t show the slightest bit of planning and forethought, he’s not that interested or motivated to make a good impression on you.
The first few dates are the time when a guy should be pulling out all the stops; if he’s not even calling ahead to book a table, he’s not worth your time.
What are the classic red flags you look out for when you start dating someone new? What warning signs do you wish you’d taken note of at the beginning of a relationship?