Last updated on Jun 10th, 2021 at 04:53 pm
You know who you are … the friend or relative always sitting on the sidelines, watching as seemingly all of your girlfriends find their perfect mate, but yours just doesnâ??t seem to be out there anywhere.
Before you realise it, youâ??ve joined the ranks of the â??hopelessly singleâ??. But just because you havenâ??t found Mr. Right yet doesnâ??t mean he doesnâ??t exist, nor that you should give up looking.
Embrace your status
Being hopelessly single doesnâ??t have to be as bad as it sounds. It doesnâ??t necessarily mean that there is no hope for you. In fact, embracing your â??hopelessâ?? status can be freeing.
Once you let go of the hopes you have for an ideal relationship, you might actually be able to find a relationship that works. Itâ??s all about adjusting your priorities and expectations.
Single doesn’t equal desperate
This doesnâ??t mean that you should give up on having a loving, long-term relationship â?? far from it. But you might want to reconsider what exactly would make you happy.
Being hopeless does not mean you have to become desperate â?? a â??tragic spinsterâ??, as Bridget Jones called it. Donâ??t be willing to settle just because you want the feeling of being in a relationship; thatâ??s never a good way to start.
Men also seem to be able to â??smellâ?? desperation in a woman, meaning that you can scare away the good guys, leaving you open to charmers who prey on vulnerable women.
Don’t compromise your priorities
Choose your dates wisely. There is no reason to grab the first person who comes along just to be able to say you are with someone. You want to be sure that when you do enter a relationship, you are doing it for the right reason and with the right person, even if that means taking time.
Remember, you have value as a person and you should never be willing to compromise that just for the sake of dating.
Try not to let your biological clock affect you
Similarly, as much as the ticking of your biological clock may be weighing on you, it should never be the determining factor in a relationship either.
If you are just trying to check off all of the milestones of life … marriage, family, home … because you think youâ??re supposed to, you could be doing yourself and your partner a disservice. You need to be truly happy in a relationship in order for it to work.
Revise your expectations
Just as important as taking your time is not setting the bar too high. Stop looking for the perfect man and focus instead on finding someone who will make you happy. If you truly love someone, youâ??ll be able to accept them, warts and all.
Thatâ??s where real relationships begin, not with the proverbial knight in shining armour riding up on a white steed. If you wait for Prince Charming youâ??ll be standing there a long time (and as weâ??ve discovered, Prince Charming isnâ??t all heâ??s cracked up to be).
You need to know yourself; know what you really want out of life and love. If you over think the entire experience, youâ??re liable to bog yourself down in unrealistic expectations. Try to be reasonable and youâ??ll make things easier both on prospective dates and, most importantly, on yourself.
There is nothing wrong with being single. Donâ??t beat up on yourself for your unattached status, try and go with it. The more relaxed you can be, the better your chances of finding someone. Simply put, the more you push the more of a struggle it will be.
So step back, take a breath, and try to put your best foot forward and before you know it youâ??ll be the one walking down that aisle!
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