Anybody out there who loves the idea of a break-up? Unless it includes make-up sex, not many particularly enjoy the idea, truly one of the hardest things to do unless youâ??re a complete sadomasochist.
Identified in this How to end a relationship series are fool-proof steps to ending an unhealthy, unwise and unfulfilling relationship.
Understand why the relationship needs to end
Try to identify the reason behind wanting to end the relationship. Digging deep to find the real reason may require you to step outside the situation, which can cloud your judgment.
Spending some time alone will help you gain the clarity you need and journaling is worth a try too.
Being honest is step #1
Make the commitment to be honest with yourself and the other person. The truth will set you free, literally and emotionally. Be committed to that.
Talk the talk & walk the walk
Setup a mutual time to meet and talk to your partner as soon as possible. Unless separated by distance, ending a relationship in person is the best means of communication offering any semblance of closure.
Donâ??t say it if you donâ??t mean it
Focus on communicating your reasons clearly and respectfully for the sake of the other person. When explaining yourself during the meeting, describe how you feel to limit defensiveness in your partner.
Try not to place blame as it doesnâ??t add any value to the relationship at this stage. Instead, talk about things youâ??ve learned from the relationship, what youâ??re grateful for and be sincere about it.
Expect fireworks of the emotional kind
Whilst your partner will bounce between different emotional states, you need to become the observer of the situation. Stay calm and remember the reason youâ??re doing this in the first place. If you need to cry, do so as this will provide a much needed cathartic release.
Donâ??t take it personally, baby
When we are emotional and feeling hurt, we can easily become irrational and say things we donâ??t mean.
Donâ??t be surprised if your partner acts like a small child and says unreasonable or mean things to you. They donâ??t mean it. They are simply hurt and need attention from you. Donâ??t take anything personally and try not to get attached to whatâ??s being said or react defensively.
Help to heal the hurt without harming yourself
Do whatâ??s necessary to help them heal without compromising your values. What everyone will need now is time to heal and being apart provides the opportunity for that.
Threats of suicide or murder should always be considered serious and reported to close family members or the police.
Source: Think Simple Now