Have you ever noticed that some women are just happier than others? And, did you know that truly happy women share many similar qualities?

I think it’s safe to say that the one thing all women desire is happiness. However, we all fall for the wrong men, spend years in unhealthy relationships, assume people will never intentionally hurt us, and fantasise about marrying our celebrity crushes. No matter what, though, women continually fight to be happy.

Have you ever noticed that some women are just happier than others? And, did you know that truly happy women share many similar qualities?

That’s because happy women don’t treat life like a competition

Think about it: Happy women are those women who don’t negatively react to others. They might even empower fellow females and celebrate others’ successes. Happy women recognise others for their hard work, but they rarely compare themselves to others. They never let jealousy destroy their lives.

Have you felt unhappy about your relationship status? Maybe you feel like it’s taking you longer to find someone than it is for your friends. Perhaps you feel devastated that the “puppy love” stage is over. Maybe you feel envious of all your friends who are tying the knot because your partner isn’t ready for marriage yet. These are all prime examples of that competition mentality.

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You can never have a close, trusting relationship if you secretly view everyone as your competition

However, happy women do things independently, which makes them feel proud of their successes…

Happy women may feel slightly envious at times, but they don’t let other people’s accomplishments dampen their own. You should never feel like your accomplishments aren’t important just because someone else achieved them first or had an easier time. You should feel proud simply because you reached your goals!

Most happy women enjoy focusing on themselves and pursuing their passions. These women recognising that life milestones happen at different times for different people. There’s no set timeline that women should follow, so they just work towards their own dreams and stay happy for their fellow women who are reaching theirs. They don’t care if they are the first or last in their friend group to enter a serious relationship or land their dream job. They just bask in the glory of their own achievements and celebrate their friends’ just as hard.

You will never achieve true happiness if you constantly feel envious. You can only find your happy place if you feel successful and appreciate your life as it is

Treating life like a competition is extremely toxic, and it only hurts you in the long run

It also may hurt other people you love, often unintentionally.

For example, your best friend wants your support after her recent engagement. She wants to show off her ring, throw a celebratory dinner, and post a ton of pictures. If you’re bummed about still being single or in a failing relationship and are unable to congratulate her, that will only hurt your friend and strain your relationship.

Spreading negativity about society’s “perfect” life timeline is not the impact you want to leave on close friends and family. You want to support your loved ones the same way you expect them to support you. You can never have a close, trusting relationship if you secretly view everyone as your competition.

You will never achieve true happiness if you constantly feel envious. You can only find your happy place if you feel successful and appreciate your life as it is. Dwelling on the milestones you haven’t yet reached will only cause you unnecessary pain.

If you ask me, the world needs more happy, supportive women. So, if you’re wondering how happy women feel the way they do, take these words to heart: Happy women trust themselves and their milestones. They celebrate their friends’ successes authentically and never let envy consume them. Truly happy women don’t dwell on anything; they accept life for what it is and move on. And you should, too.

This article was first published on Unwritten.