“There was no meeting Mr. Right until I became Mrs. Right”…
Almost all of us can relate to being in a romantic relationship that feels incredible to begin with but often ends up in trauma, regret or despair.
Everyone needs to kiss a few frogs before finding their prince
Krystal Kolnik, successful Cape Town estate agent and new author has recently launched her first title, Lessons from the Frogs I’ve Kissed. In the book (available for R250 from all major book stores), Krystal bares all the details of her past relationships in the hopes to inspire readers as well as offer them ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ and an honest and open account to relate to.
Her intention is to take readers on a heartfelt journey, sharing her own personal, and sometimes very painful, experiences on her quest to find Mr. Right.
We asked Krystal to share a glimpse of the relationship lessons that she’s learnt along her journey…
3 Very real relationship lessons you need to know
Lesson 1: Potential can be as good as it gets – some things won’t change!
I really wish someone had given me this advice a long time ago, but as with most lessons I had to learn this one the hard way!
We tend to fall in love with our partner’s potential; we keep hoping and waiting for our situation to improve…
“If only he stops drinking, if only he makes me a priority, if only she was faithful!”
What we don’t realise is; that is just the kind of cake we bake with that particular person – and our relationships are unlikely to change into the fulfilling relationships we are hoping them to become if they are constantly in a state of conflict and struggle.
Dynamics are set at the beginning of a relationship. You will not magically be attracted to someone or earn their respect if it was not there from the onset!
Lesson 2: Even the best relationships are hard work – the pendulum
Patience, understanding and willingness for both partners to work on their issues is needed in order for a relationship to be mutually fulfilling. It’s like a big pendulum which is continuously swinging: at any given time, one partner may feel more at peace and less challenged than the other. When the pendulum swings in the opposite direction, it will be then be the their turn to deal with issues. As long as the pendulum swings, we grow within our relationships. Only when it is momentarily at around ninety degrees is the relationship in harmony and not been steered in some direction.
With each proverbial swing of the pendulum, comes growth within a relationship.
Lesson 3: The greatest love of all!
One of my biggest realisations was that in order to meet someone who I could be in a healthy relationship with, I had to find my own sense of self-worth and acceptance first.
The cliché is true…
There was no meeting Mr. Right until I became Mrs. Right. This process of loving myself was much easier said than done, and involved a lot of work on myself which came in the form of daily meditations and meeting a wonderful healer. But, how could I possibly expect someone to love me if I don’t genuinely love myself?
For more lessons from Krystal, visit www.lessonsfromthefrogsivekissed.com