Blogger Trish Beaver has her own views on what goes down at exotic dance shows – some from personal experience…

A South African granny has made the headlines for suing a well-known stripping group in the UK. Apparently the all-male strip group known as the Dream Boys are now in hot water.

One of their acts involved coming on stage dressed as sexy firemen, and ripping off their trousers was part of their routine, after which they flung the “hot” pants into the cheering audience.

One of the garments hit the grandmother from Brackenfell in the eye and she had to have surgery.

She is claiming for the injury and suffering. Of course this story may be quite true, but a few of the details in the story made me a little sceptical.

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The granny in question is apparently a devoted church goer. I’m not sure where it says in the Bible you can go to strip clubs and ogle the talent. But hey my knowledge of the Bible is sketchy at best. I assume she was not forced to go to the performance under duress.

I ask for forgiveness at this point as it is not my intention to offend merely to examine the facts of the story. I am a self-confessed sinner as I saw a performance of The Chippendales back in the day when they toured Johannesburg. The Chippendales are an American stripper group that tours the world. I even have a picture of myself chatting to one of the bare-chested performers later.

So the evidence is pretty damning. I look like a shy schoolgirl flushing to the roots of my hair as he smiles with boyish charm. He was flirting shamelessly. I must just point out that I was doing my job as a journalist and was asked to go to the performance and chat to the performers.

To be honest it was not the worst job I’ve had to do in my many years as a journalist. I would say that it was probably one of the better moments in a varied and interesting career.

But back to the injured Granny…

She claims that the audience was seated too close to the stage and the show’s organisers should have forseen that audience members could be injured. From my fleeting observations of the strip show back in the day, most of the injuries incurred were from women screaming and suffering from hoarse voices and those who injured their wrists from clapping hard.

I was quite frankly astonished at the behaviour of some of the female audience members who were like rabid animals. But I suspect the consumption of alcohol had something to do with it.

I was told by a friend who has attended quite a few of these events that after the show, ordinary men pay a high entrance fee to flock to the clubs after the shows, hoping to get a bit of action. Their thinking is that the strippers will have caused the average woman’s hormones to peak and they would be willing to offer themselves as sacrificial lambs in case of emergency.

From my point of view that line of logic is flawed. It would be like drooling at a prime rump steak and then getting offered an overcooked brisket. But I admit I’m picky about my meat.

I was quite amused to read that the Brackenfell granny is also married to a retired policeman. I’m not sure if she skipped bail to go to the show or if he has since placed her under house arrest.

I’m all for equality and if men can go to bars like Hooters and ogle bare breasted women then I think it is only a constitutional right for women to enjoy the same opportunities.

I personally found a show that was more entertaining than The Chippendales with their flawless good looks and bursting biceps.

After the Chippendale craze hit the streets of Jozi, a local group of men decided to form their own strip group

Theirs was called Bellies and Biceps and it was a group of “Average Joes” who were brimming with confidence and hairy backs. Proud of their beer boeps and Dad bods they also did some sexy moves and the highlight of the show was offering the tannies a chance to rub baby oil on their bods.

I have never laughed so much. It was absolutely hysterical. They did not get the hormones racing but they made us laugh so much – and laughter is the hidden aphrodisiac every male can obtain. Much easier than getting a six pack.

Trish Beaver is a journalist and blogger – www.trishbeaver.com