How do toxic people manipulate and emotionally abuse you?

There will be toxic people in your life who will not want you to succeed – I call these people “toxic teammates”.

What is a toxic person?

These are the people who emotionally abuse you and shove obstacles in your path, because they live in a scarcity mentality. They don’t believe that there are enough rewards, raises, honours, trophies, friends, or money to share.

Locked into their “scarcity” belief system, these toxic people view you as an opponent – while they masquerade as your friend. As your “friend”, they will manipulate you to please them and assist them with their goals.

The faster you identify toxic people and their diabolical schemes, the quicker you can get out of their clutches and learn how to deal with them.

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Acknowledge that some people are not good for you and will only cause heartbreak. These toxic relationships and friendships will steal your joy, passion, money, hope, and faith in humankind, which is why learning to identify the toxicity of these people can help you to say no to their type of crazy, manipulative, emotional abuse.

How do toxic people manipulate and emotionally abuse you?

When toxic people sense that you are weak, they come in for the kill. When you need their approval for confidence, you have just given them your self-esteem credit card. They will run you into emotional bankruptcy before you have a chance to blow your nose.

Love yourself so completely that you put toxicity where it belongs – back on the person who needs to grow out of it

Toxic people pretend to be sympathetic, compassionate, and encouraging to your goals, but be aware that they perceive the good things that happen to you thwart their opportunities for success. When you are winning in life, they will double their efforts to manipulate and undermine you.

Be aware of these signs that a toxic person is emotionally abusing you:

  1. You feel drained when around them
  2. You feel the need to protect yourself
  3. You feel responsible for their happiness or success
  4. You feel that they are always in a crisis
  5. You feel that you are not heard or seen
  6. You feel that you sacrifice your needs and wants for them

So, how do you deal with toxic people in your life?

The first step to make certain that toxic people don’t rob you of energy and success is self-awareness. Be aware of who you are – your quirks, faults, weaknesses, obsessions, and jealousies. Be confident that you can overcome your inner negative self-talk so that other people don’t have the opportunity to manipulate you with their toxic tool box.

Remember that you cannot fix other people, nor can you make them happy or successful. Their problems don’t constitute your emergency. Focus on your controllable factors which are how you choose to respond to their demands.

When you encounter a toxic person or realise that you’re already in a relationship with one, remind yourself that your time and energy are for people who contribute to you and not contaminate you. Determine a time limit for your interactions or cut ties completely. Save your emotional investments for yourself and for people who genuinely care about you.

Believe that you are worthy enough that no person, friend or partner has the right to steal your passion. Love yourself so completely that you put toxicity where it belongs – back on the person who needs to grow out of it.

Sherry Winn is an in-demand motivational speaker, a leading success coach and seminar trainer, a two-time Olympian, a national championship basketball coach, and an Amazon bestseller. She has written five books including, Unleash the Winner within You: A Success Game Plan for Business, Leadership, and Life.

This article was first published on YourTango.