How do you keep picking yourself up after you’ve been knocked down so many times?
It’s a brutal world when it comes to dating. You continually put yourself out there only to be led on, treated like garbage, and let down once again. How do you keep picking yourself up after you’ve been knocked down so many times?
The guessing game gets old, and each disappointment is as confidence crushing as the one before, so the process of finding someone new can be daunting. But if you’re finding yourself really anxious to go back into the dating game again after feeling emotionally defeated, fear not!
There are so many things that you may be feeling about getting back out there that other women are experiencing too…
1. Being socially awkward
It’s totally normal to feel like you are being socially awkward. There will always be situations where you have great chemistry and effortless conversations with someone online, yet when you meet them in person it’s like pulling teeth. Don’t worry, these things happen all the time and it’s nothing to be anxious about at all!
2. Feeling like a second option
Sadly in this cruel dating world, it’s easy to feel like a second option as the majority of it is done online, and there are so many more people you can talk to at once. It’s normal to feel like you’re option number two or that you’re a backup plan. It’s hard, but you can’t beat yourself up and ask why you aren’t good enough. Unfortunately, it’s the way it works these days; nobody has to be tied down to one person until it gets serious, no matter how hurtful it may be to your self-esteem.
No one said dating in the modern world is easy
3. Feeling inadequate
There are times where you’re on a date and as the conversation progresses you begin to feel inadequate or under-accomplished compared to the person on the other side of the table. Some might call it insecurity on you part, others call it bragging by the other party. Whichever it is, it’s okay to feel that way sometimes. You’re already vulnerable enough by going out there with all these fears, you’re just super aware and sensitive of how you feel about yourself, which makes you overthink it.
4. Staying too guarded
There are situations where letting someone get close to you is extremely scary and hard for you to do no matter how good a connection you have or how well things are going. When you’ve had your heart broken it’s hard to allow someone else in, for fear that they’ll do the same thing. It’s normal to feel this fear, even if it upsets you because you know you shouldn’t be feeling upset.
5. Being disappointed
Whether the conversation was going well and just died, or they cancelled on you, chose to be with someone else, ghosted you, led you on or just dropped a hurtful bombshell, you will be disappointed. That’s natural. But there’s no reason to always fear or expect it. Someday you will have a great date that goes somewhere, it just wasn’t that day.
No one said dating in the modern world is easy. And whoever said that is a liar who doesn’t know what they are talking about. If you’re hesitating to re-download Tinder and Bumble for the eight millionth time, considering cancelling a date, or debating what to say to your crush who hasn’t yet realised you like them, remember you are not alone in your fears. Many other people share the same anxieties about dating!
If you need a motivational quote to help you realise that you should slowly get back out there at your own pace, here’s a great one to follow: https://www.instagram.com/p/BsQ6PmHnOHW/