Moving forward together, as co-parents, is not only in the best interest of the children, but also the key to finding genuine happiness post divorce

Your marriage has come to an end, and the truth is, no one can truly prepare you for the emotional turbulence that is about to be experienced. Sure, every separation is different, and the intensity of emotions will vary from person to person, and from day to day, but separation and divorce remains one of the most traumatic experiences that some people will encounter in their lifetime.

Throughout childhood, we are taught to live by good morals and values; such as respect, kindness, acceptance and forgiveness – to name but a few. Yet, when facing a painful separation, all these principles seem to fly out the window. Suddenly, two adults who are well-educated and good people, transform into relentless warriors, determined to tear each other down. Which is normal, but what happens when those two adults are also parents?

In the midst of war, who is thinking about the children?

I like to remind separating parents that there are three parts to separation or divorce:

  1. The emotional separation
  2. The financial division and sharing of children
  3. The legal divorce

And, they ought to be addressed in that order.

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What does this mean?

It means that your emotional separation is the most important part of the separation and if not given the priority it deserves, then the financial division, sharing of children and the legal divorce will be considerably ill addressed!

Everything starts with an emotion, and when we make choices based on raw emotions, the results are likely to be inefficient and/or irresponsible – sometimes even devastating.

Such devastating outcomes are often experienced in litigation, because litigation is all about making a point, regardless of the needs of everyone involved. No litigation has ever ended with people moving on feeling happy.

Separating parents need to be on the same page, and dedicated to moving forward as co-parents

If one parent gets to turn the page without such consideration, then it is the children who will be left behind! Moving forward together, as co-parents, is not only in the best interest of the children, but also the key to finding genuine happiness post divorce.