Everyone knows you as a kind, loving, emotionally generous person. But you’re also an engaged woman. That means you are susceptible to succumbing to the temporary but extremely toxic (for others) condition known as ‘Bridezilla’.
‘Bridezilla’ is the lovely cross between a bride and Godzilla, that crazed giant dinosaur type creature that likes to terrorise Japan. With wedding season upon us, this might not be as far-fetched as you think.
Wedding planning can be one of the most stressful endeavors known to womankind
You and/or your parents are spending thousands of rands on an event that will last a few hours – yet live on in photos, videos, and your memories forever. You want every detail to be perfect, from the flowers to the seating arrangements, to (of course) your appearance.
But the stress of planning ‘The Perfect Day’ can turn any blushing bride into a crazed animal.
A Bridezilla is a bride-to-be who:
- Is probably overstressed, and not getting enough sleep.
- Is a perfectionist who seems impossible to satisfy.
- Is obsessed with every single part of her wedding.
- Constantly feels, and creates, high levels of frustration.
But here’s a little secret: You don’t have to be Bridezilla
In fact, you can just get through this whole wedding planning and wedding day, and be totally stress-free. You can be Bridechilla! Here’s how:
1. Remember – it’s your day
And not anyone else’s. One of the biggest mistakes brides make is to assume that since the wedding is their top priority, it is everyone else’s as well. Quickly accept that the people you love cannot put their entire lives on pause for your big day, and you shouldn’t expect them to.
2. Invest in a wedding planner
Wrangling with suppliers, caterers, and DJs can become a full-time job. It can also remove a lot of the dreaminess of your special day. Hiring a wedding planner and relinquishing most of the planning duties to them is a good idea. If you can find someone who is friendly, experienced, and professional, who confirms costs first, and gives you personalised choices, while magically removing the stress of the event from your shoulders, you’ve found the right one.
3. Work to a manageable budget
A Bridezilla starts as a small seed of stress that grows out of control. A huge contributing factor to wedding stress is money. Going over budget to try and accommodate your grandiose dream of having a wedding like Meghan and Harry will suck the life out of your soul and turn you into a rabid, snarling bride that even your groom won’t recognise. Creat a budget list and then stay within your budget. It’s important not to start your marriage in debt.
4. Be flexible and willing to adapt
This goes back to embracing the fact that your wedding is not everyone’s top priority. Everyone has their own life and their own schedules. If necessary, have a replacement person waiting in the wings in case any of your bridesmaids or groomsmen can’t fulfill their obligations. Adapt to vendor changes, and guest list glitches.
4. Take a break
While your wedding is important, it’s also important for you to step back from the whirlwind and take a breather regularly. Go have a massage, a midday nap, or watch something on Netflix for a while. Or say to yourself early on in the process that you’ll only devote two days a week to the planning. Doing anything that’s not wedding-related is a great way to avoid getting a case of the Bridezillas.
5. Avoid an event overload
Keep the pre-wedding events to a minimum. You don’t need an engagement party, a bridal party, a bachelorette party, a pre-wedding dinner, a wedding party party, and an after party party. Keep the main thing the main thing.
6. Accept that things will go wrong
In life, things go wrong. It rains when you want it to be sunny, a bridesmaid may break a leg before the wedding, and maybe the DJ will get drunk and fall off the stage. If you realise, from the beginning, that things might not go as planned, then you’ll be OK. Besides, a perfect wedding is when the bride and groom are happy and having fun on their big day.
7. Vent in a healthy way
Venting is a must when it comes to planning a wedding. Have an outlet to release all your stress and frustrations, so that it doesn’t come out at an inopportune time on an innocent victim. Alleviate some of your stress and the pressure of planning by talking to your fiancé, your mom, or your girlfriends about what’s troubling you, instead of bottling it all up. Go to gym. Let the punching bag have some of your steam.
8. Don’t compare
Many brides-to-be compare their wedding to the weddings they’ve been to as guests – bad idea. Each wedding is just as individual as the person who’s getting married and when you compare your wedding to someone else’s you start to second-guess your ideas, or try one-up theirs. Breathe – this is not a competition.
9. Ignore all unnecessary input
It is okay to assert yourself to ensure that your opinions and desires are heard above the chatter of well-meaning friends and family, as well as sometimes pushy vendors. Women should be allowed to be loud and angry (though not disrespectful of others) on occasion when dealing with an external stressor without being called a Bridezilla.
10. Nourish your body
Fuel your body with the right nutrients and stay hydrated so that you have energy to complete all your tasks. Start your morning with a nutritious, healthy breakfast every day, and keep it up during the day. You don’t want to pitch up on your day with bags under your eyes and dry, colourless skin, and brittle hair and nails from poor nutrition. Eat healthily.
11. Decide to have fun
When you open your eyes on the morning of your big day, decide right then and there that you’re going to have fun, no matter what. You won’t remember all the tiny details of your wedding years from now, but you will remember exactly how you felt. Make sure that you both decide to make it a day that you can both look back on with fondness.
12. Remember what the day is actually about
This may sound obvious, because who forgets why they’re having a wedding? Bridezillas, that’s who. Remember that this day is about marrying the one you love, showing your commitment to each other and the world, and celebrating this rite of passage with all your nearest and dearest. It’s about starting a marriage.
Bear this in mind always and you’ll know that your wedding is bound to be a huge success. At the end of the day you’ll be married to your love. That definitely beats any other aspect of your wedding.
Read this next: 5 Tips to balance it all when planning your dream wedding