Before you say ‘I do’ to the man of your dreams, make sure he’s not in fact your total nightmare!
Does the love of your life shower you with love one day and the next week you are ignored? Does he guilt-trip you about the fights you have, and always seems to be the victim? You might be dating a narcissist – or worse, a psychopath, experts say!
Narcissism is often interpreted within popular cultures as a person who’s in love with him or herself. Stephen Johnson, a psychologist, describes on Psychology.com that a narcissist is someone who has ‘buried his true self-expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory false self’. He adds that in our society today mild to severe forms of narcissism is not only pervasive, but often encouraged.
So, before you say ‘I do’ to the man of your dreams, make sure he’s not in fact your total nightmare!
Here are some signs to look out for – he could be crazy, and not over you:
1. Flattery will get you anywhere
As strange as it seems, the person who is making you miserable is in fact flattering and complimenting you all the time, but experts say that it’s their way of controlling you. They manipulate you with affection – showing a whole bunch at first then cutting you off until they’re ready to take you back again.
2. They twist reality
Accusations are their best defence, they accuse you of the exact same thing they do, experts say. This in turn leaves you to not only feel confused, but insecure about your relationship, or worse, leave you thinking that you are going insane.
3. Liar-liar, pants on fire
They get so good at deceiving people with their lies, that they start to believe them. These people are always trying to cover their tracks and in doing so tell more lies to avoid telling the truth.
Narcissists crave attention and will do anything to get it – and keep it
4. Ticking time bomb
According to experts, they provoke rivalry, hate and conflict and in doing so make it seem accidental, this is done on purpose as all they want to do is be destructive.
5. Being the victim
Always, no matter what happens, they make you feel that you are to blame. Experts explain that, by creating sympathy, narcissists and psychopaths confuse people.
6. Crush your self-esteem
People who are narcissistic don’t want you to leave them and find better. They want you to believe that there is no better out there, by breaking your self-esteem.
When they are not showering you with gifts, they ignore, criticise and attack you.
7. They need validation
Narcissists crave attention and will do anything to get it – and keep it. They will even flip your life upside down to keep the attention on them.
8. Me, myself and I
Every conversation will be about them, and this will be a one-way conversation not giving you a chance to take part, experts explain. They make you feel like you don’t have an opinion and never will have one.
Narcissists always make themselves look good and try an impress people around them – even if they make you look bad
9. Mind games are their favourite pastime
You will get caught up in their web of lies and manipulative behaviour. Try and pay close attention to what they say and do, and, if any suspicion arises, try and fit the missing pieces together.
10. Conversations interrupted
Narcissists abruptly interrupt conversations and shift the focus to them, they don’t care about you or your situation.
11. Rule breaker
People who are narcissistic find great pleasure in violating rules and social norms, whether in a work environment, at home or in other social situations.
12. What boundaries?
They disregard people’s thoughts, feelings, possessions, and even physical space and will at any time overstep boundaries. They are inconsiderate and insensitive.
13. Always wanting to impress others
Narcissists always make themselves look good and try to impress people around them – even if they make you look bad.
They often expect preferential treatment from others; simply put, they think the world revolves around them.
15. Master manipulator
Narcissists will use anyone to fulfil their needs and knowing how to manipulate is just their way of getting what they want.