My guess is that most of you who are reading this don’t know that you are a conversation thief…
Maybe you are a good friend, a partner or even a spouse. Perhaps you have been friends for a while or maybe are even fairly new in each others lives. My guess is that most of you who are reading this don’t know that you are a conversation thief…
Yes, we are grown women and should let others know when we need to be listened to!
We should at this point in our lives know that we may say, “I need to talk” or even, “Please listen to me for a few minutes”.
As a clinical psychologist I can confidently tell you that this does not come naturally to most women…
Women tend to want to please. They want to help. They want to nurture. And, yes, sometimes they would like you to pause and recognise on your own that they too need some talking time. Mostly, women don’t want to be seen as selfish and needy.
Not only do “we all need someone we can lean on” but we all need someone who will listen
You are most likely a conversation stealer if…
- You allow very few pauses in conversation so that you don’t have to give up the proverbial floor.
- You have not heard another voice – other than your own – in the conversation for five minutes plus or minus a few seconds.
- You raise your voice when the other person tries to talk.
- You are constantly reaching into your arsenal of stories to draw upon when in conversation. You frequently say, “Well, that reminds me of a story.”
- You feel amazingly relieved at the end of a conversation but can’t remember a word that your supposed partner in dialogue said.
Evaluate your role in the conversation
Well, dear conversation stealer, we understand that you have meant no harm – after all no one has ever told you that you were this sort of thief.
Ask yourself if you allow equal time in conversation. If you are not sure then go ahead and ask those in your life who are honest with you if you have a tendency to dominate conversations with your news and your point of views.
It is never too late to make a change
You will be doing a service to both yourselves and your partners in dialogue if you share the conversation. Your relationships will likely improve in quality and last longer if you tweak your communication skills.
Not only do “we all need someone we can lean on” but we all need someone who will listen.