Last updated on Jun 11th, 2021 at 11:23 am

Think you don’t need a man? Think again!

Whether you’re divorced, co-parenting with an ex boyfriend or have chosen to become a mom on your own, one thing is for sure…

…there’s no strong like single mom strong!

It’s not that your parenting challenges are any different – it’s just that you have no one to split the load with. There’s no 50-50.

It’s just you – through sleepless nights, teenage troubles, financial struggles.

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You’ve learnt to go it alone, but that doesn’t mean you have to.

READ MORE: Single moms: please ask for help

“I don’t need a man”

When it comes to raising kids by yourself, the ‘juggle is real’ – with little to no time left to invest in a new relationship… let alone enough energy to ‘bring sexy back’.

We get it: Your priority is your children, making it far easier to just swear off relationships altogether.

Except that we are social animals which thrive in relationships.

And, while you might not need a man to take care of you (because you can take care of yourself, thank you very much), you do need someone to love, and who will love you in return – someone to talk to and snuggle with once the kids are in bed.

In a two-minute video featured on the YourTango website (a source for smart talk about love), relationship expert Dr. Zoe Shaw reminds single moms that they can give their all to parenting and make room for romance to flourish.

Being a mom is your core focus, but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your needs and desires as a woman

Here’s how:

1. Be honest about what you want

There’s no denying it, being a mom is your core focus, but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your needs and desires as a woman. Sure, they may be covered in dust and cobwebs, but they are still there.

And you owe it to yourself to acknowledge them.

“You want a soulmate, you deserve a soulmate – and it’s time to be honest about that and pursue it with passion”.

2. Check your baggage

Besides the obvious things – having kids and a serious, failed relationship under your belt – you need to know and be aware of what baggage you’re bringing to the table.

“Everybody brings deficits to a relationship, because we’re full of them. If you don’t know what your deficits are, ask your close friends or family, and they’ll tell you!”

3. Learn from your past relationships

Break-ups suck, but each relationship you’re part of, and each break-up you go through (no matter how horrible) can teach you something.

Once the anger, hurt and disappointment of a break-up subsides, there’s usually a period of reflection – and the chance to ask yourself some introspective questions, like:

  • Why did the relationship end?
  • What was my role in the relationship’s demise?
  • What can I do differently in my next relationship?
  • Which parts of myself do I need to work on before entering into a new relationship?
  • Am I looking for something different in a relationship or partner that I hadn’t quite known before?

Watch the full video here.