Dr John Demartini has studied human behaviour for over four decades, and after seeing thousands of clients, believes our entire happiness and success boils down to living a life truly aligned with our values
We all have values, but Demartini says the secret is to work out the highest and truest on your list and use them to structure your life.
But surely we already know what we value?
Well, not necessarily “Many of us think we know what is important to us, but that can be clouded but societal expectations and many other influences.” says Demartini. “We need to dig a little deeper to work it out properly and genuinely.”
Dr Demartini has developed a series of 13 questions to ask ourselves to work out what it really is we should be focusing on
“Once you know, prioritise actions that relate to those values. Every time I see people do it, I see how much easier and happier their lives become. It’s incredible.”
So what are these questions?
You need three answers (in order) for each, even if not stated. Once you have finished, you will see patterns repeating and your highest values will become very clear.
1. What do you fill your primary personal or professional space with most?
What takes pride of place in your home or office? What do you always keep in your possession or close to you? What three items stand out in your personal and professional space?
2. How do you spend your time primarily when you are awake?
What are the three things you spend your time on most, in order? You will make time for things that are really important to you and you will run out of time for things that are not. What do you do most often in your 16 to 18 hours of awake time every day?
3. How do you spend your energy most and what energises you most?
What do you find energy for most? You will always have energy for things that are truly highest on your values list and will run out of energy for things that aren’t important. What three actions energise you the most or make you feel most vital?
4. How do you spend your money?
What are the three consistent things you spend your money on most? You will feel reluctant to spend money on things you perceive to be unimportant. If something means a lot to you, you will certainly work out a way to pay for it.
5. Where are you most organised and ordered?
Where are you ordered and organised most and what are the three things that you are most organised in? You have at least a few areas of order and areas of disorder in your life. The things that are important to you, you will spend time organising. What are they? Don’t lie to yourself!
6. Where are you most reliable, disciplined and focused?
If something is important to you, you will be dedicated to doing it. You don’t, and won’t, have to be reminded or motivated from the outside to do it. Where are you most reliable, disciplined and focused? Be honest!
7. What do you inwardly think about most?
What are the three things that dominate your thoughts? You may be momentarily distracted by daily incidents but your mind will always return to the things that mean something to you – whatever is highest on your list of values.
8. What do you visualise, and then realise, most?
What do you visualise most about how you would love your life to be that is gradually coming into reality? What are the three things that you envision or daydream about that are starting to coming true? What you most consistently envision will be in alignment with what is most important to you.
9. What do you internally dialogue with yourself about most?
What do you internally dialogue with yourself about most that is meaningful and that is gradually coming true? What are the three things that you talk to yourself about most that are manifesting? You dialogue internally about what is most important to you.
10. What do you talk about most to others in social settings?
What are the three things you converse with others about most? The things that you keep wanting to bring into your or other’s conversations, that nobody has to remind you to talk about? You become an extrovert talking about what is most important to you and when somebody else talks about it, you come alive.
11. What inspires you most?
What is common to those individuals, insights, experiences or events that have inspired you most? Anytime you or anyone else conquers an important challenge in their life it can become inspiring to experience. You are generally inspired most frequently in the area of your life that means most to you.
12. What are your most consistent long-term goals that are coming true?
You are most willing to stretch yourself, and persistently act, towards goals that have the most meaning to you. So, what are the three most consistent long-term goals – that you have worked on persistently – that have stood the test of time and you are gradually bringing into reality?
13. What do you love learning, reading, studying or listening about most?
What topics of study inspire you the most? When you enter a bookstore, which section do you make a beeline for? Which topic of magazines do you subscribe to? Which section of the newspapers do you turn to first?
Are there non-fiction TV shows or film documentaries that you seek out? What topics do you find yourself thinking about or asking questions about most?
For more information, visit www.drdemartini.com