It is possible to minimise the drama…
Whether you’ve been dumped, or did the dumping – a break-up can hit you hard.
Like, can’t get out of bed, can’t eat, can’t sleep kind of hard.
While you may feel as if life will never be the same again, take heart: Time heals.
Things will get easier, and before you know it, you will be OK. Maybe not your best self, but OK.
In the meantime, you have to figure out how NOT to let your break-up wreck you.
Which is easier said than done…
It’s easy to get caught up in the drama-rama
Break-ups can make you feel like you’re living in a soap opera. It’s easy to get caught up in the drama-rama, a game of ‘he said, she said’ here, some social media shaming there – and don’t forget the slew of angry texts that fly back and forth for no good reason
How do you mourn a relationship without making its failure into a life-defining, soul-draining event?
A panel of experts unpack break-up drama in a video featured on YourTango (a source for smart talk about love, sex, dating and relationships). In the seven-minute video, the experts share the things you can do to minimise the drama in the aftermath of a break-up.
Here are five of those things:
- Ditch the ego: “Whose calling the shots? The real you, or your ego?” Remember, your ego and it’s sidekick, pride, have no place in your healing process. Neither does mud-slinging, gossiping and snarky texts or Facebook posts.
- Take ownership: Remember it takes two to tango – and even if you feel like the breakup was unfair, you need to acknowledge and take ownership of your role in the relationship’s demise in order to fully heal and move on.
- Treat it like an addiction: To move on, you’re going to have to make a clean break. Treat your break-up like an addiction; “don’t text, don’t call, get some exercise, surround yourself with good friends – and most importantly, keep moving. There’s someone camping in your head, and you need get them out”.
- Don’t over-talk it: What do women do when they’re hurting? They talk. Which is good, until it’s not. Each time you talk about your break-up, you’re “raising the ghost and re-traumatising yourself”.
- Remember that you’re in control: In the video, one of the experts Clara Wisner suggests that people going through break-ups (or hard times) need to remind themselves that “Nothing I experience is created by anything outside of me”. The concept may seem complex to grasp, but essentially it means that you are actively in control of your situation. You allow yourself to feel certain things and react in certain ways. The way you deal with your break-up (and subsequently move on) is entirely up to you.
You can watch the full video here