Telling your children that their parents are no longer going to live together and that their family, as they know it, is going to change forever, is probably one of the hardest things a parent will ever have to do

The end of a relationship is never easy. Telling your children that their parents are no longer going to live together and that their family, as they know it, is going to change forever, is probably one of the hardest things a parent will ever have to do.

It’s time to tell the kids

For many parents, the line between what is right and wrong can become very confusing when choosing to divorce, and while it might certainly feel right to take the decision to go your separate ways, “Is it right for the children?” is a question that will haunt many parents for the rest of their lives.

Telling your children together is the first step in cushioning them from this time of hardship.

Truth is, yes it’s going to rock their world, but realising that their parents are sticking together in their roles as carers, supporting them and loving them unconditionally, is what’s going to make the difference..

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Basic common sense is really all you need

Be patient, reassuring, be honest (age related) and listen, listen, listen. Most importantly, do not try to fix their hurt, sadness and anger. Just give them permission to experience their varied emotions in a safe environment and they will learn to cope with their family’s new circumstances.

READ MORE: Single moms: please ask for help

You know your children better than anyone else

Trust that you know what it is that your children need from you when hearing the news.

No matter how you feel about the separation and your ex, do not:

  • Talk badly about each other (think about the situation it puts your children in to witness their parents blaming and criticising each other)
  • Argue and fight in front of your kids
  • Ask your children to become the messenger between the two of you
  • Act jealous because they run to the other parent for a hug
  • Get caught up in living arrangements, financial responsibilities and all the concerns that a two household family bears. Rather focus on making a plan to be the parents your children need!

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