Assumptions: to suppose that something is true without checking or confirming it, something that is believed to be true without proof…
Winter sunsets in South Africa are the most beautiful! Colours in the evening sky are mixed to create a beauty we often fail to see and digest. At times, I have called a friend or two to tell them to look outside and share this experience with me.
More often than not I hear a slight change in the tone of their voice as if to say â??Oh Judy, come ON! You are on another planet again.â?
I feel lost, rejected and sometimes angry as they fail to immerse themselves in the moment that I’m experiencing.
I assume they feel I am intruding…
…perhaps bothering them with petty nonsense as they are experiencing their own moment! We tend to expect different outcomes from that which we actually receive, which prompted me to build on last weekâ??s article, â??Jealousyâ??.
I want to talk to you about assumptions
“People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.â? – H. Jackson Browne
It is human nature to be gregarious: we are created such
We love socialising and identifying with each other. Most friendships are initiated by common interests or experiences and they grow to satisfying relationships by cementing thoughts, visions, goals and ideas that are shared.
There is no doubt that even though we share commonalities, sometimes this is just not enough to keep the bond strong. Have you ever wondered why? Dynamics in each relationship vary as individuality and togetherness rub shoulders and the heat of friction starts to make things uncomfortable.
We tend to assume that our partners will always agree with and support us
Friction begins in rather benign ways and is sometimes so subtle that we are oblivious to its sly stalking. We tend to assume that our friends or partners will agree with our viewpoints, support our actions, and stand on the sidelines being our cheerleaders in life in everything. We expect them to stand by us and thus we reward their actions.
An off-kilter gesture, an inappropriate word from them, and what do we do?
We stand looking; one eyebrow raised in judgement, when they do something that is not in line with our values and expectations. We egotistically think we know someone and are shocked when they do something that we deem to be â??out of characterâ??. We shun their new ideas because it shakes our own comfort zone, which we created for ourselves.
The friction begins because our OWN pre-conceived ideas are proven wrong!
Donâ??t we always think that our way is the best?
We know how to make the other person happy, donâ??t we? We have all the answers! Our solutions have been thought out, applied and therefore must be the right ones not so?
Who built the pedestal on which you stand? Who put you in the driving seat? Who gave you the sceptre to hold and told you that all your rules and regulations are the ones that are to be applied to another?
Who gave you the right to pass judgement on another? You did! Why do you assume that what you are thinking is the truth? Why do you want them to have the same values and ethics as you â?? are yours the only right ones?
Their path may be different from the one you are on but it does not mean that they will be lost along the way.
Let me ask you to ponder something this weekend
Can you trust your friends and partners to make the best decision for themselves regarding their own lives? Can you peep over your own walls that keep you contained and see what lies beyond?
Can you expand your thinking to a level that allows those around you to grow, mature, experience and enjoy without you feeling threatened? Maybe your foundation needs a little shake-up in order for you to expand your vision rather than refute theories outright.
What if our assumptions are actually a stumbling block, our Achilles Heel because they lead us to expectations based on things that are not fact?
We should cherish our differences!
Choose to use them as a tool to bring new possibilities in our lives. Question each other; try to imagine yourself walking in their shoes. It just may bring you understanding beyond your wildest imagination.
This is a building block for next week’s article, so get ready! As always I welcome your comments. Please pop into my website for more paradigm-shifting articles www.thoughtfortheweekend.com.
Love and Light