Why rebound relationships are dangerous

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Why rebound relationships are dangerous

Having sex with someone you don’t have a relationship with is extremely dangerous both emotionally and physically... As a sexologist and relationship therapist, I believe sex and relationships go together. 

Rebound relationships are often casual flings, a way to cover up the hurt and loneliness left by a former partner. 

I am sure that there are hundreds of instances where rebound relationships have succeeded, but in the 21st century, with the proliferation of sexually transmitted infections, it is essential that we still make our health and wellbeing our number one priority. 

I don’t believe that rebound relationships are the way to recover from a failed relationship. 

Instead, I believe individuals should make sure that they heal completely from the breakup before they start dating again. When you start a new relationship, you should be a whole person, not someone grieving for a recent loss. 

Your new partner should be someone who can contribute to your life, they shouldn’t have to pick up the pieces from your last relationship. 

Breaking up is a painful experience, but it is something from which we can all learn.

Make sure that you use the time that you are single as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and how to ensure a more successful relationship next time. 

If you find yourself in a ‘rebound relationship’, make sure that you and your new partner are on the same page. 

People often mistake sex for love, and finding out your partner’s expectations before you have sex is important for your emotional and psychological wellbeing. If you and your partner agree that “it’s just a fling”, that’s great, but if either one of you have different expectations, you need to voice your opinion before you get hurt. Too often I see women who thought they were in a loving, supportive relationship only to find out that he was just in it for the sex.

It is difficult to start a sexual discussion with a partner, but although it might be awkward at first, it often leads to new and exciting discoveries. 

Besides ensuring that your physical and emotional health is not at risk, you could also find out that you and your partner share a liking for kinky underwear or chocolate body paint. Discovering your partner’s favourite foreplay moves and sexual positions could liven up your sex life, and also bring more intimacy to your relationship. 

In the end, sex should be fun, safe and intimate. 

Being prepared and knowing your partner’s sexual history and expectations will give you the security and confidence you need to get the most out of sex and the relationship.

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leandie_buys

Author info: Leandie Buys
Relationship therapist, clinical sexologist and author of “Seasons of Sex”, Leandie Buys is dedicated to helping couples in crisis. She takes a holistic approach to marriage and relationship counselling, looking at all of the factors that influence a relationship.
Leandie has a Masters degree in Health Sciences (Sexual Health) from the University of Sydney, Australia and a Registered Counsellor’s qualification in trauma counselling.
Find her on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/leandiebuys

Website: www.leandiebuys.co.za

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